Finally made it back to the chilling reality of London a few days ago. It seems a long time since I crashed out exhausted on Day 6 of Path of Love (PoL). I spent the next 3 weeks in Pune trying to physically recover from all that had gone on, some obvious and much of it far too deep for me to be aware of yet.
Yes certainly stuff has changed and I do feel much freer - maybe some barriers have disappeared - and I dont feel right now that I HAVE to do anything I dont want to do. It is like what I had thought was possible before is now happening and to tell the truth it really isnt much effort! I have clarity and any remnants of fear that lap around me are easily ignored. I have a real choice, although the way forward is so simple and clear that it isnt much choice at all - I can onle see one path so what chance of confusion? (the project in hand is to set up a centre/school of spiritual development in London).
How much of this is because of PoL I am not sure (ironically that bit isnt clear! - but then it involves looking back to how things were before which is something I do not wish to spend time on in this moment) because I had this sense of direction before I went to Pune but now I keep asking myself where is the difficulty with this project, where is the reason I am not doing it now, and there is no reason and I am making it happen now (actually it feels like it is happening by itself and I am merely doing a bit of administration to allow it to flow).
And everything I said in PoL seems so irrellevent in a way cos it was nothing to do with what I am doing now - but I do realise of course that the sharings, the honesty and the where I am now are very closely related - all those barriers and all those fears about not being good enough in whatever way (and for me that it what they all came down to) have caused all fears about not being good enough to evaporate and all those very real barriers I saw before have melted away. What I shared was just the tip of the iceberg but it has caused the whole iceberg to melt.
And so now I am left in a strange sense of freedom. Like walking through a landscape with no features - no barriers and nothing to stop me doing whatever I want. That is strange because I am not used to it, and free because in this moment everthing is simple, and I trust and have time. Maybe I am just choosing the simple things to do and ignoring the complicated - and if I am then that seems like a pretty good idea too - why indulge my mind in the complicated when it is not necessary?
Enough of this mind stuff - back to the journey - simple, clear and free. For the moment at least.
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Monday, 25 January 2010
India (again) Dec 2009 to Jan 2010
I have been in Pune, India (a very rapidly growing sprawling mass of 3.5 million people) for 6 weeks now at an ashram (or more correctly the Osho International Meditation Resort) - great to get away from the cold and snow to the warm and reliable weather of India... And doing some intense inner work including assisting on an 8 day Primal course and participating in a 7 day Path of Love. After these then I was completely exhausted (physically, emotionally, in every way) - but I still managed to notice a few things about India... the good, the bad and the very ugly... not necessarily in that order.
Things that I dont connect with:
- The traffic on North Main Road - Five years a go when I first came here it, this was a poorly paved road which didnt really go anywhere and it had a few cars and bikes that bumped their way up and down the road. Cows roamed the verges in search of food, and water-buffalo were regularly herded up and down it on their way to the river, causing not much inconvenience to the trickle of traffic.
Now it is a fully paved dual-carriageway-superhighway crammed full of cars and (motor)bikes. It is not just 'busy', everyone using it is attempting suicide. And as I have to cross the road several times a day (as the ashram is on one side and I live on the other) and apart from at 5.30 in the morning when it is quiet, I always feel that I am half a step away from not making it. So then that makes me a reluctant road user, and therefore an unwilling participant in this suicide pact.
Getting halfway across is the worst as then I have to stand cms from traffic, whizzing by in both directions, who sole aim is to miss me by as little as possible. And if I should wobble, lose balance or take a tiny step forward or back I would immediately be gobbled up in a knashing of spokes and a mess of car body parts.
I occasionally sat and watched it all (whilst drinking freshly squeezed sweet lime at the roadside) and was amazed at how close everything came to hitting each other - the only word that kept coming to my mind was 'Suicide! Suicide!' How can these people put themselves through this it is madness only worse! Somehow they miss - I dont know how. But with 30,000 people killed on India's roads every year and countless more injured then I guess they dont always. But there is no road rage, no one gets angry, no-one is taking anyones elses space, because in India the rule is that 'everyone has right of way all of the time unless someone else gets there first' and everyone knows this and this allows them all to drive like maniacs without ever realising it!
There is a crossing - and I used it once - it has green and red lights to tell the traffic when to stop and the pedestrians when to cross. Unfortunately I thought it would work - that was my mistake - and so crossed when the green man appeared only to find the traffic roaring all around me as if I shouldnt have been there. Safer not to use the crossing!
And of course the road gives rise to incredible noise and pollution... but that is a whole other story.
- Pollution - this is a whole other story (told you so) - being unable to breath, being knee deep in rubbish, being awakened at all hours of the night, the stench in some places... from every imaginable source: cars, bikes, rubbish, washing powder in the rivers - in short everywhere and everything pollutes and no-one really seems to do anything about it...
- Cockroaches - I find it difficult to respect the (Hindu) sanctity of life when there are large cockroaches in my room - sod them they are gonna get trodden on!
- Words that Indians dont understand No. 8
'Quietly' - Nothing is ever done quietly - it is all an excuse to make a noise. Even in the cinema everyone loves to describe each scene to their neighbour as though they were blind; in English, Hindi or Marathi, or frequently a combination of the three.
But enough of moaning - there must be some great stuff about India:
What I was in tune with:
- Th eoccasional small herd of Water-buffalo crossing the road as if they own it (well I guess historically they do). What I love is that they just walk out into the streaming traffic without a care in the world and without any fear at all. The traffic realises this and has to slow or even stop (a rarity in India) and the buffalo just stroll around totally unhurried - I found it beautiful to watch - it makes a change, the old creating havoc in the 'advanced' world rather than the other way round - maybe the balance is being restored.
- The food - it is great, fantastic, can be very cheap, always interesting and usually waiting time is minimal. This applies to Indian food. (It does not apply to the various Indian attempts at European food which are woeful and embarressing! In England we have Indian people who cook Indian food, Chinese people who cook Chinese food, Italians to cook Italian food etc etc and that is they way it should be - this experience has shown I do not value that diversity enough!).
- The wildlife - diverse and beautiful in all its ways - the constant supply of different coloured flowers that fall around me as I walk along (less busy) roads, the herons, egrets, kingfishers, cormorant, striped squirrels, parakeets, and elegant vultures that constantly glide overhead (like birds of prey not like the scrawney ugly ones in cartoons) and small birds - they all somehow put up with the pollution to live here - how they do it I dont know but I am grateful that they do. And then there are the enormous fruit bats which come out every evening and dance around they sky.
There is an exception - the elephant that is made to walk up and down the superhighway to grab the attention of locals and foreigners alike - it is an amazing animal but it should not have to suffer this environment.
- The markets (mainly fruit and vegetable) full of vibrant colour and shapes, and with some things I had never seen before - especially the matt black stuff that looked like small bit of coal - I was told you have to peel and cook them (a bit like potato).
- The meat market - despite being mainly Hindu (who are vegetarians normally) and cows being sacred, I did manage to eventually find a thriving (Muslim) beef market. Oddly enough an awful lots of cats and a huge number of vultures seemed to have discovered it too!
- The colours - this is a colourful society beyond doubt - why do we wear desperately boring colours in England - maybe we are desperately boring?
- The dogs - There are many on every street corner almost all unowned. I am strangely attracted to them - most are in decent health - as they are playful and friendly and I love the way they just go to sleep by the roadside and expect everyone to go around them (and everyone does) and then just get up when they want and wander around, defending their territory against insurgent dogs - it is a whole culture in itself.
- The pavements - actually the pavements are useless for walking along - I have no idea what the actual purpose of a pavement is in India but where they exist they are put together with such care that they must have a purpose. What I love is that if there is an obstruction, like a tree, in the way they just incorporate it into the pavement, no cutting down of trees here. Unfortunately this often means that the pavement is completely obstructed by the tree and so everyone has to step into the road to walk around it. So most people just end up walking in the road anyway.
- The poverty and the disparity between rich and poor - I have to mention it even though the huge divide between rich and poor goes unnoticed after a while - it is just part of the fabric of life here. It is a direct result of being Hindu - if you are born desperately poor then it is your karma and so you should stay that way for this lifetime. In Pakistan, which is generally poorer, there are almost no very poor people, as one of the tenants of Islam is to give to the poor. I do have to remind myself that the whole of India's poor are not my problem although it does sometimes feel like it - especially when the beggars who target westerners are on the prowl (and that means that they aren't 'real' beggars anyway but out to con those who are a little more gullible).
When I came to the end of my stay I gathered up all my excess clothes and bits and pieces that I wasn't going to take home to give away to locals who ran basic stalls along the roadside so they could sell them. Amongst them was a plastic 'lunch' box that I had bought, used and no longer needed. I decided to fill it with nice stuff and give it to someone who I had come into contact with and who was obviously poor. This raised tonnes of issues such as:
- what do I fill it with - what does a 'poor' person in India need?
- Am I helping the right people - I mean is the family I intended to give it to really poor? - I mean there must be poorer people around.
- what does poor mean in India? How little do you have to have - do you have to be starving to be poor - and how do I know whether they are or not? They do look poor and most people who are poor try and look like they aren't (apart from professional beggars).
- If I can help one family a bit why can't I help others - 2 families, 3, 4, ...10 ...100 ... In some ways helping one family seems so pointless in amongst the millions that need it.
- And why am I doing it - is it just to feed my ego? (not that 'poor' people would care but I did feel that my motivation was important.
- And what if they didnt accept it - unlikley in India but who was I to break the Hindu concept of karma and acceptance?
In the end I decided:
- Anyone who sits by the side of the road all day trying to scrape together a very basic living is poor.
- Helping one family is better than helping no-one
- I can only do as much as I am able in this moment
- I may be feeding my ego but creating this 'opportunity' and making it happen also it felt like an important thing to do (not historically being some-one who gives anything away).
So I asked at a shop what 'poor' people might need and filled my box with what they suggested (like shampoo, toothbrushes, tothpaste etc) plus I added a few more fun things like chocolate and biscuits (well if you are going to clean your teeth you might as well make it worthwhile). And they were delighted to accept it - as delighted as I was to give it. And whether it made a difference I dont know - I would guess at 'a little'. And ego satisfied - giving is not that difficult after all.
I have concluded that India, and Pune in particular, and North Main Road Superhighway in particular particular is simply an experiment to see how much stuff you can throw at one place (and by stuff I mean people, cars, bikes, rubbish, pollution, dogs, shops, in fact life in general) and keep throwing more and more stuff at it, and without anyone controlling anything, just see what happens. This is what it feels like and so far the experiment is progressing well with huge increases in everything and life adapts and still functions - which is lucky cos the experiment has very far to go! I hate to think what it will be like in 10 or 20 years, but it will be stretched to the limit, and probably beyond. But being India, it will still some how function just because it has to cos people's lives depend on it worksing somehow (although outsiders may not use the word 'function' to describe it).
The last word must go to the Indians who put up with all the shit, accept it and get on with life, cos that is just how it is right now. I am not sure if I want to learn a lot from this or not! The acceptance of 'what is' is great, but it feels like there is also an acceptance that things will always be like this (or worse) so why bother trying to change them - and that feels like a missed opportunity. India is full of contradictions and I should expect nothing less than to be challenged by them all!
Things that I dont connect with:
- The traffic on North Main Road - Five years a go when I first came here it, this was a poorly paved road which didnt really go anywhere and it had a few cars and bikes that bumped their way up and down the road. Cows roamed the verges in search of food, and water-buffalo were regularly herded up and down it on their way to the river, causing not much inconvenience to the trickle of traffic.
Now it is a fully paved dual-carriageway-superhighway crammed full of cars and (motor)bikes. It is not just 'busy', everyone using it is attempting suicide. And as I have to cross the road several times a day (as the ashram is on one side and I live on the other) and apart from at 5.30 in the morning when it is quiet, I always feel that I am half a step away from not making it. So then that makes me a reluctant road user, and therefore an unwilling participant in this suicide pact.
Getting halfway across is the worst as then I have to stand cms from traffic, whizzing by in both directions, who sole aim is to miss me by as little as possible. And if I should wobble, lose balance or take a tiny step forward or back I would immediately be gobbled up in a knashing of spokes and a mess of car body parts.
I occasionally sat and watched it all (whilst drinking freshly squeezed sweet lime at the roadside) and was amazed at how close everything came to hitting each other - the only word that kept coming to my mind was 'Suicide! Suicide!' How can these people put themselves through this it is madness only worse! Somehow they miss - I dont know how. But with 30,000 people killed on India's roads every year and countless more injured then I guess they dont always. But there is no road rage, no one gets angry, no-one is taking anyones elses space, because in India the rule is that 'everyone has right of way all of the time unless someone else gets there first' and everyone knows this and this allows them all to drive like maniacs without ever realising it!
There is a crossing - and I used it once - it has green and red lights to tell the traffic when to stop and the pedestrians when to cross. Unfortunately I thought it would work - that was my mistake - and so crossed when the green man appeared only to find the traffic roaring all around me as if I shouldnt have been there. Safer not to use the crossing!
And of course the road gives rise to incredible noise and pollution... but that is a whole other story.
- Pollution - this is a whole other story (told you so) - being unable to breath, being knee deep in rubbish, being awakened at all hours of the night, the stench in some places... from every imaginable source: cars, bikes, rubbish, washing powder in the rivers - in short everywhere and everything pollutes and no-one really seems to do anything about it...
- Cockroaches - I find it difficult to respect the (Hindu) sanctity of life when there are large cockroaches in my room - sod them they are gonna get trodden on!
- Words that Indians dont understand No. 8
'Quietly' - Nothing is ever done quietly - it is all an excuse to make a noise. Even in the cinema everyone loves to describe each scene to their neighbour as though they were blind; in English, Hindi or Marathi, or frequently a combination of the three.
But enough of moaning - there must be some great stuff about India:
What I was in tune with:
- Th eoccasional small herd of Water-buffalo crossing the road as if they own it (well I guess historically they do). What I love is that they just walk out into the streaming traffic without a care in the world and without any fear at all. The traffic realises this and has to slow or even stop (a rarity in India) and the buffalo just stroll around totally unhurried - I found it beautiful to watch - it makes a change, the old creating havoc in the 'advanced' world rather than the other way round - maybe the balance is being restored.
- The food - it is great, fantastic, can be very cheap, always interesting and usually waiting time is minimal. This applies to Indian food. (It does not apply to the various Indian attempts at European food which are woeful and embarressing! In England we have Indian people who cook Indian food, Chinese people who cook Chinese food, Italians to cook Italian food etc etc and that is they way it should be - this experience has shown I do not value that diversity enough!).
- The wildlife - diverse and beautiful in all its ways - the constant supply of different coloured flowers that fall around me as I walk along (less busy) roads, the herons, egrets, kingfishers, cormorant, striped squirrels, parakeets, and elegant vultures that constantly glide overhead (like birds of prey not like the scrawney ugly ones in cartoons) and small birds - they all somehow put up with the pollution to live here - how they do it I dont know but I am grateful that they do. And then there are the enormous fruit bats which come out every evening and dance around they sky.
There is an exception - the elephant that is made to walk up and down the superhighway to grab the attention of locals and foreigners alike - it is an amazing animal but it should not have to suffer this environment.
- The markets (mainly fruit and vegetable) full of vibrant colour and shapes, and with some things I had never seen before - especially the matt black stuff that looked like small bit of coal - I was told you have to peel and cook them (a bit like potato).
- The meat market - despite being mainly Hindu (who are vegetarians normally) and cows being sacred, I did manage to eventually find a thriving (Muslim) beef market. Oddly enough an awful lots of cats and a huge number of vultures seemed to have discovered it too!
- The colours - this is a colourful society beyond doubt - why do we wear desperately boring colours in England - maybe we are desperately boring?
- The dogs - There are many on every street corner almost all unowned. I am strangely attracted to them - most are in decent health - as they are playful and friendly and I love the way they just go to sleep by the roadside and expect everyone to go around them (and everyone does) and then just get up when they want and wander around, defending their territory against insurgent dogs - it is a whole culture in itself.
- The pavements - actually the pavements are useless for walking along - I have no idea what the actual purpose of a pavement is in India but where they exist they are put together with such care that they must have a purpose. What I love is that if there is an obstruction, like a tree, in the way they just incorporate it into the pavement, no cutting down of trees here. Unfortunately this often means that the pavement is completely obstructed by the tree and so everyone has to step into the road to walk around it. So most people just end up walking in the road anyway.
- The poverty and the disparity between rich and poor - I have to mention it even though the huge divide between rich and poor goes unnoticed after a while - it is just part of the fabric of life here. It is a direct result of being Hindu - if you are born desperately poor then it is your karma and so you should stay that way for this lifetime. In Pakistan, which is generally poorer, there are almost no very poor people, as one of the tenants of Islam is to give to the poor. I do have to remind myself that the whole of India's poor are not my problem although it does sometimes feel like it - especially when the beggars who target westerners are on the prowl (and that means that they aren't 'real' beggars anyway but out to con those who are a little more gullible).
When I came to the end of my stay I gathered up all my excess clothes and bits and pieces that I wasn't going to take home to give away to locals who ran basic stalls along the roadside so they could sell them. Amongst them was a plastic 'lunch' box that I had bought, used and no longer needed. I decided to fill it with nice stuff and give it to someone who I had come into contact with and who was obviously poor. This raised tonnes of issues such as:
- what do I fill it with - what does a 'poor' person in India need?
- Am I helping the right people - I mean is the family I intended to give it to really poor? - I mean there must be poorer people around.
- what does poor mean in India? How little do you have to have - do you have to be starving to be poor - and how do I know whether they are or not? They do look poor and most people who are poor try and look like they aren't (apart from professional beggars).
- If I can help one family a bit why can't I help others - 2 families, 3, 4, ...10 ...100 ... In some ways helping one family seems so pointless in amongst the millions that need it.
- And why am I doing it - is it just to feed my ego? (not that 'poor' people would care but I did feel that my motivation was important.
- And what if they didnt accept it - unlikley in India but who was I to break the Hindu concept of karma and acceptance?
In the end I decided:
- Anyone who sits by the side of the road all day trying to scrape together a very basic living is poor.
- Helping one family is better than helping no-one
- I can only do as much as I am able in this moment
- I may be feeding my ego but creating this 'opportunity' and making it happen also it felt like an important thing to do (not historically being some-one who gives anything away).
So I asked at a shop what 'poor' people might need and filled my box with what they suggested (like shampoo, toothbrushes, tothpaste etc) plus I added a few more fun things like chocolate and biscuits (well if you are going to clean your teeth you might as well make it worthwhile). And they were delighted to accept it - as delighted as I was to give it. And whether it made a difference I dont know - I would guess at 'a little'. And ego satisfied - giving is not that difficult after all.
I have concluded that India, and Pune in particular, and North Main Road Superhighway in particular particular is simply an experiment to see how much stuff you can throw at one place (and by stuff I mean people, cars, bikes, rubbish, pollution, dogs, shops, in fact life in general) and keep throwing more and more stuff at it, and without anyone controlling anything, just see what happens. This is what it feels like and so far the experiment is progressing well with huge increases in everything and life adapts and still functions - which is lucky cos the experiment has very far to go! I hate to think what it will be like in 10 or 20 years, but it will be stretched to the limit, and probably beyond. But being India, it will still some how function just because it has to cos people's lives depend on it worksing somehow (although outsiders may not use the word 'function' to describe it).
The last word must go to the Indians who put up with all the shit, accept it and get on with life, cos that is just how it is right now. I am not sure if I want to learn a lot from this or not! The acceptance of 'what is' is great, but it feels like there is also an acceptance that things will always be like this (or worse) so why bother trying to change them - and that feels like a missed opportunity. India is full of contradictions and I should expect nothing less than to be challenged by them all!
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
Are Your Emotions Real?
One thing I notice repeatedly in workshops and meditations I facilitate is the resistance some people have to admitting to themselves (and others) that they are not a perfect bundle of love and joy all of the time. For them it is quite a shock to be told that it is OK to be Sad, Angry or to Cry as well as to be Love and Happiness. Not surprisingly, often their first instinct is to reject it and then maybe accept that it is OK for others but not OK for themselves!
Somewhere along the line they have picked up these beliefs, maybe from their parents, and maybe it has been reinforced by society in general. Of course, society doesn’t often openly say ‘Don’t be Sad’, ‘Don’t Cry’ or ‘Don’t be Angry’ but it is hidden in many messages we get ranging from Government measuring ‘Happiness’ and how it is ‘good’ to be happy, to the social embarrassment of a friend crying or being angry in the street. In fact, almost everyone reinforces that it is ‘OK to be Happy’ but not ‘OK to be Sad’ by their unconscious words and actions, such as saying ‘Don’t cry’ or ‘Cheer up and give me a smile’ when that clearly isn’t the emotion that needs to be expressed right then.
I am certainly not saying that being sad or angry is better than being happy but, as human beings, all emotions naturally arise in us from time to time, not just the ones we have chosen to label ‘good’. Expressing Joy and Love is unbelievably fantastic and an abundance of these qualities lies deep beneath our everyday emotions. But to connect with them we need to go deeper. How? By first simply connecting with yourself and notice how you actually feel deep down in that moment, and allow yourself to be exactly that. Totally accept that however you feel is real for you and just allow it to be there in that moment. Recognise that, in that moment, this is ‘you’ (or more accurately a collection of you and all the emotional baggage you have picked up throughout your life). And totally express and release the everyday emotions that are there. Really be yourself!
Unfortunately, whilst freely expressing emotions is OK in your own space, it is not generally OK in a society which has become used to people presenting a whole range of (fake) masks, one for every situation, and it is far easier to conform to what others expect! Pity, because underneath all the layers of masks and everyday emotion there lies an abundance of real Joy, Love, Happiness, Peace etc. Real because it isn’t painted on like a mask. Real because there is no need to pretend ‘I’m good right now’ when I’m not. Real because we don’t even need to think ‘happy thoughts’ to connect with it. But first we need to express whatever is there in order to go deeper and discover the wonderful stuff that lies hidden within. But most of us don’t, simply because for our whole lives we have been trained to conform to the rules of this society which just isn’t comfortable with us being real. And we take the easy option and carry on conforming rather than breaking away from those rules and living as our real selves.
So what is the point of being real? Expressing your emotions can bring great clarity and peace within and allows you to go deeper, beyond those emotions, bringing more realisations about who you truly are. This is a path towards Your True Self - but it isn’t an instant fix so don’t expect an instant ‘cure’ - this is the start of a path of self-discovery and self-realisation of who you really are at your deepest level.
So, if you choose, you can stop all the ‘trying’ to be something you aren’t (just so you can appear to be happy to others) and give this a go:
- Find a physical space where you feel comfortable;
- Start ‘being’ yourself by connecting deeply inside (remove distractions, close you eyes, allow your thoughts to fall away, and just notice how you really feel, deep down, right now - don’t try to be anything different);
- Be totally open and honest with yourself (don’t worry if you find this challenging);
- Release and express whatever you find there (but remember do not harm yourself or anyone else, and if you feel physical anger, hitting a pillow is better than smashing up the room);
- Notice how you feel deep inside afterwards - you may notice peace or clarity beneath any remnants of the emotion you expressed. The more you do this the more you will notice.
- Then when you have the courage to go beyond the fear of letting others see who you really are, you can start being truly be real when others are around. Just be aware that other people may be offended if, for example, you express anger at them or when you are with them (this is their issue - yours is the one you are expressing - but they probably won’t be aware of this) so take it one step at a time. Maybe start by simply being honest with them and telling them how you feel.
If it feels like some more guidance and practice on being your real self could be useful see the Awakening Your Inner Child and Discovering Your Own Meditation Workshops at www.LondonCollegeofSpirituality.co.uk and the ‘Free My Life’ Spiritual Coaching Programme at www.spiritual-coaching.co.uk
Thursday, 4 September 2008
How Superficial are You? --OR-- The Easiest Mistake You can make on Your Spiritual Path
One of the biggest barriers we face as spiritual seekers is the ease with which we can fall into the pretence of the superficial world of Love, Peace and Joy.
Don’t get me wrong; the world that our spiritual teachers almost universally ‘sell’ us does exist. And the qualities such as Love, Peace and Joy are there in abundance. There is nothing superficial about that; unfortunately nearly all of us aren’t there yet.
What is superficial is when we TRY to feel love, joy or peace because then we fall flat on our faces. Take this simple example:
- I feel angry with a particular person.
- I then remember what my teacher said, and think ‘I shouldn’t feel anger, I should feel love for this person’.
- So I ‘go inside’ and try and find love for this person, and maybe I do, but in focussing on love, I have suppressed the anger.
It would be nice to think that in connecting with love, the anger would just float away on a cloud! It doesn’t.
In a situation where you feel an emotion, anger for example, you have three choices:
- Suppress it. The unresolved anger may seem to disappear, it hasn’t it has just been pushed into your subconscious. Your subconscious will put it with all your other suppressed anger and present it for resolution at a future time when triggered by some event. With practice this can be done with a minimum of conscious effort but the emotional effort is significant, as the subconscious will repeatedly present the ‘heap’ of suppressed anger for resolution until you deal with it.
- Half-heartedly suppress the anger thinking I don’t want to feel angry, and allow it to hang around for hours or days before eventually ‘forgetting’ about it (suppressing it). This is the one that most people take most of the time because it requires the least conscious effort; subconsciously it involves more emotional turmoil than the above.
- Sit with it. Watch it. It’s OK to be angry. Allow it to be there. Go deeper into it. Really feel it. Experience it. Become it totally. Express it if you are in a physical space where you can; if not, just feel it totally. In short: Be Real, this is the biggest challenge.When it is ready it will go; allow that release. You may find a calmness and clarity arise to ‘replace’ it. If anger returns at any stage then it has not been fully experienced or expressed, so repeat the above.
This applies to any emotion or feeling that arises. Whatever it is, by allowing it to be there totally you can experience it and allow it to go.
Trying to feel a particular way is destructive. Holding on to the ‘good’ emotions or stopping the ‘bad’ ones is an example of you trying to be something other than you are in that moment. Instead, just allow whatever is there to be there.
If you want to ‘hurry up’ the process it is possible, though not by yearning after love, joy or peace, but by using a technique like Self Enquiry that allows you to go more deeply into whatever is there for you in that moment. Qualities such as Love, Joy and Peace will arise by themselves once enough of your lifelong suppressed emotions have been released.
Do You feel challenged by this? If so, then great! It’s OK to feel challenged. Stay with the feeling of challenge and go deeper into the feeling (don’t get lost in the mind thinking about it). Being challenged in one way of moving forward on your path.
If you don’t feel challenged then maybe you were already fully aware of this, or you have had an ‘Ah-ha’ moment, or maybe you have just thrown it away because you just aren’t ready for it yet. And if that challenges you, then allow yourself to be open and go back and read it again…
Ankur Spiritual Coaching - Guidance for You on Your path...
Friday, 1 August 2008
What is Spirituality? A simple explanation... --OR-- Your First Steps on Your Path
From my work as a Spiritual Coach and teaching at the London College of Spirituality it is clear that the concept of Spirituality confuses many people even at the most fundamental level. So I have revisited my experience to find some simple words that may help define it for you and I offer some suggestions about how you can start to go deeper...
Many ‘spiritual seekers’ get so consumed by all the ‘stuff’ that surrounds spirituality, the beliefs, rituals and practices, they end up lost in a haze of thought and activity and maybe even end up on a ‘spiritual’ ego trip which appears promising but which is going nowhere. In short, they completely miss the point.
Spirituality is not about your thoughts, your actions or even your beliefs. You may have spiritual beliefs, but the essence of spirituality is beyond that.
Spirituality is simply what leads you back home to yourself. More specifically, spirituality is what leads you to the truth of who you are in any moment, the true self. And since anything that comes from outside you is not you, the focus must be inward. It’s just you becoming you. It’s that simple.
So why do so many people get so sidetracked by the stuff? Primarily because looking at stuff with our minds is far easier and less challenging than looking inside with awareness and checking out who we truly are and what is really there for us in any moment. Especially as what we find is often not attractive!
Instead, it’s easier to ignore what’s real, and dive into our mind created ego to slip on a mask from our elaborate and extensive collection, which gives the image we want to portray in any given situation. Because in our society, it is regarded as more important to portray the ‘right’ image than to reveal who we really are. Why else would we spend most of our time peeping deviously from behind an aura that we proudly show, not only to fool others but also to convince ourselves we are something better (or sometimes something worse!) than who we think we are?
The irony is that we are all a whole lot ‘better’ than we think we are, but that true part of us has been covered up by the very same mind created ego that now portrays a false image.
To go beyond this and unravel your truth you need to start looking inside and be open to whatever you find there, even if it something you do not like, such as sadness, anger or fear. Being honest with yourself is challenging, but there is no advantage in delaying starting right now.
So how do you start to connect with you at a deeper level?
Firstly you have everything you will ever need – the true You (which is always there but is under a pile of your ‘stuff’) and some Awareness (the more you can gather the better).
Secondly, connect with inside. Put all your attention on how you feel in that moment. If it is blocked by thoughts you can ‘drop’ them by simply not giving them any energy or attention and allowing them to go (don’t fight, hang on to or suppress thoughts). More thoughts may arise... keep doing the same and soon gaps will be revealed between thoughts.
Thirdly, just notice how you are feeling in that moment. Whatever is there is Real for you in that moment… it is unlikely to be the True Self just yet but at least you are looking in the right place.
Lastly, start to notice when you act differently to what is real for you in any moment, and ask yourself for what purpose you are choosing to act differently, and how ideally you would like to act. What’s really stopping you being you and having what you really want?
Being Real is not always easy in our society, but, as your awareness grows, your behaviour will change. This awareness is the driving force of your journey towards yourself. This is spirituality in action - you are treading the right path…
Many ‘spiritual seekers’ get so consumed by all the ‘stuff’ that surrounds spirituality, the beliefs, rituals and practices, they end up lost in a haze of thought and activity and maybe even end up on a ‘spiritual’ ego trip which appears promising but which is going nowhere. In short, they completely miss the point.
Spirituality is not about your thoughts, your actions or even your beliefs. You may have spiritual beliefs, but the essence of spirituality is beyond that.
Spirituality is simply what leads you back home to yourself. More specifically, spirituality is what leads you to the truth of who you are in any moment, the true self. And since anything that comes from outside you is not you, the focus must be inward. It’s just you becoming you. It’s that simple.
So why do so many people get so sidetracked by the stuff? Primarily because looking at stuff with our minds is far easier and less challenging than looking inside with awareness and checking out who we truly are and what is really there for us in any moment. Especially as what we find is often not attractive!
Instead, it’s easier to ignore what’s real, and dive into our mind created ego to slip on a mask from our elaborate and extensive collection, which gives the image we want to portray in any given situation. Because in our society, it is regarded as more important to portray the ‘right’ image than to reveal who we really are. Why else would we spend most of our time peeping deviously from behind an aura that we proudly show, not only to fool others but also to convince ourselves we are something better (or sometimes something worse!) than who we think we are?
The irony is that we are all a whole lot ‘better’ than we think we are, but that true part of us has been covered up by the very same mind created ego that now portrays a false image.
To go beyond this and unravel your truth you need to start looking inside and be open to whatever you find there, even if it something you do not like, such as sadness, anger or fear. Being honest with yourself is challenging, but there is no advantage in delaying starting right now.
So how do you start to connect with you at a deeper level?
Firstly you have everything you will ever need – the true You (which is always there but is under a pile of your ‘stuff’) and some Awareness (the more you can gather the better).
Secondly, connect with inside. Put all your attention on how you feel in that moment. If it is blocked by thoughts you can ‘drop’ them by simply not giving them any energy or attention and allowing them to go (don’t fight, hang on to or suppress thoughts). More thoughts may arise... keep doing the same and soon gaps will be revealed between thoughts.
Thirdly, just notice how you are feeling in that moment. Whatever is there is Real for you in that moment… it is unlikely to be the True Self just yet but at least you are looking in the right place.
Lastly, start to notice when you act differently to what is real for you in any moment, and ask yourself for what purpose you are choosing to act differently, and how ideally you would like to act. What’s really stopping you being you and having what you really want?
Being Real is not always easy in our society, but, as your awareness grows, your behaviour will change. This awareness is the driving force of your journey towards yourself. This is spirituality in action - you are treading the right path…
Monday, 21 January 2008
The Path of Transformation --OR-- A Brief Summary of the Spiritual Parts of My Journey
I was a spectator, not only of the spectacular crescendo of explosions that enlightened the Thames in the first minutes of the 21st century, but I was a spectator in my life too. Just watching it bounce along in no particular direction. Of course I did have direction, but it was from work and others. My life was being directed by others; I was just fitting in, to their show. What was I getting out of my life? Where was I going?
I was a bank manager. A hard-working, focussed, stressed and thoroughly pissed-off bank manager. I had a ‘good’ job and I played hard too, but I was (very) slow in realising that I didn’t have a Life. I was merely a distant and powerless observer of my existence, as it slid aimlessly down a slippery slope. I was devoid of feeling, unknown to joy, and had never been truly ‘in love’. And I was a complete stranger to the values of peace and fulfilment. Plus I was lost in the maze that is the corporate jungle…
And then it all changed.
Within months I had a choice to make. Move to another role with the bank or take a redundancy. I thought, I analysed (‘cos that’s what I did best), I thought again, and from somewhere I found uncertain courage to take the money and run. And run I did. Well actually I stumbled a bit at first. But once in my stride I ran and ran and ran. For six years, through over 50 countries and across six continents (Antarctica still eludes me).
Along the way I ended up in India and thought that I would take in an ashram for a week just because… well, to see what it was like and to try something different (I had never meditated before). And luckily I found a fellow traveller to drag me along to one, although not without a stack of reservations on my part about... everything.
So what was it like? Like getting up at 5.30am to do a one-hour very active meditation, then a shower, then a one-hour very silent meditation, and that was all before breakfast. And then meditate some more during the morning, more in the afternoon and some more in the evening. And they were the easy bits! I struggled with the numerous petty rules – you must wear a robe, and it must be this colour during the day… and this colour in the evening (more stuff to buy)… and only this colour trunks in the swimming pool… and use this payment card in the day but only this one in the evening and… AAAAAAARGGG! Plus it was very expensive by Indian standards and I was a backpacker on a budget. Now suddenly submerged and lost in a bewildering world, rules stalked me - openly, money flowed worryingly quickly from ATM to ashram, and the only thing I was ‘Being’, was totally confused. For five long days I fought and struggled bravely with these multi-headed monsters. And then tragedy! I was shocked to learn that my mind, which I had considered to be my ultra reliable and dependable sidekick ‘til then, was actually the sworn enemy of meditation and even that it wasn’t me at all! By now my world was gyrating uncertainly.
Sure, there was value in the meditations, and some of the multitude of multi-day courses looked good if I could only understand what they were all about, but they were sooooo expensive… and anyway, I was only there a week, so no time for that. But it was playing on my mind – if indeed it was my mind? Confusion reigned.
I was just about to book my tickets for ‘elsewhere’ when my resistance suddenly ceased! It was the calm after the storm. OK so maybe the clothes weren’t totally ridiculous and everyone else wore them, and besides I had bought them now. And comparing the ashram prices to those in UK made it a little easier to swallow. In these terms, maybe it wasn’t sooo bad. But that lead to a new dis-ease around there being nothing now to stop me carrying on and ‘doing stuff’ here. The meditating felt good, and I somehow felt a desperate need to do these courses. And I realised I needed some help, so ‘I’ could look at ‘me’ - was this a ridiculous concept? Could I really broaden my vision and shed the narrow view I had held all my life? And for the first time ever, could I challenge myself, challenge what I thought, connect with my feelings, have emotions, feel true love and discover who I really was? Now I was getting scared!
And that is when my journey really began.
I stayed a month, I had to move on because my visa was running out, but the seed had been sewn and I had taken a new name, Ankur (meaning 'new growth'). I had only scratched the surface, but at least I now knew where to dig. And just 12 months later I was back, this time for four months. Many hours of meditation, numerous courses, much pain and self-discovery later I emerged a very different person: with emotion, with a heart, with an awareness of true self and a new level of self-esteem. I experienced the qualities of joy, peace and total fulfilment that are my true self and can just feel how incredible it is to be in that space. I was not complete though, these were just the first few steps, but I had found a path….
And as well as going back to that ashram, further steps on my journey have included studying NLP, Life Coaching and Enlightenment Intensive work which I now combine with my experience for my new roles in life, as a Spiritual Life Change Coach and Meditation Teacher – my path it seems, is also to help others discover themselves.
So am I still a spectator of my life? Yes, I certainly am. But I am no longer looking from afar. I am looking from the inside, at the inside, aware of who I am and how I feel in every moment (well… most of them); and I realise that I am responsible for my own feelings and behaviour and I have real choices about my future. I am finally scripting my own show.
Now with new Openness and Awareness, I constantly seek the courage to Allow and Accept whatever is there. Just trying to be connected with myself and be real in every moment is an enormous challenge, which I relish simply because I can feel the benefits in every moment. I create my own reality – and my intention is always to do that from the blissful space of my True Self.
Check out how you can discover yourself and change your life at
http://www.spiritual-coaching.co.uk/
and
http://www.lifechangecoaching.co.uk/
I was a bank manager. A hard-working, focussed, stressed and thoroughly pissed-off bank manager. I had a ‘good’ job and I played hard too, but I was (very) slow in realising that I didn’t have a Life. I was merely a distant and powerless observer of my existence, as it slid aimlessly down a slippery slope. I was devoid of feeling, unknown to joy, and had never been truly ‘in love’. And I was a complete stranger to the values of peace and fulfilment. Plus I was lost in the maze that is the corporate jungle…
And then it all changed.
Within months I had a choice to make. Move to another role with the bank or take a redundancy. I thought, I analysed (‘cos that’s what I did best), I thought again, and from somewhere I found uncertain courage to take the money and run. And run I did. Well actually I stumbled a bit at first. But once in my stride I ran and ran and ran. For six years, through over 50 countries and across six continents (Antarctica still eludes me).
Along the way I ended up in India and thought that I would take in an ashram for a week just because… well, to see what it was like and to try something different (I had never meditated before). And luckily I found a fellow traveller to drag me along to one, although not without a stack of reservations on my part about... everything.
So what was it like? Like getting up at 5.30am to do a one-hour very active meditation, then a shower, then a one-hour very silent meditation, and that was all before breakfast. And then meditate some more during the morning, more in the afternoon and some more in the evening. And they were the easy bits! I struggled with the numerous petty rules – you must wear a robe, and it must be this colour during the day… and this colour in the evening (more stuff to buy)… and only this colour trunks in the swimming pool… and use this payment card in the day but only this one in the evening and… AAAAAAARGGG! Plus it was very expensive by Indian standards and I was a backpacker on a budget. Now suddenly submerged and lost in a bewildering world, rules stalked me - openly, money flowed worryingly quickly from ATM to ashram, and the only thing I was ‘Being’, was totally confused. For five long days I fought and struggled bravely with these multi-headed monsters. And then tragedy! I was shocked to learn that my mind, which I had considered to be my ultra reliable and dependable sidekick ‘til then, was actually the sworn enemy of meditation and even that it wasn’t me at all! By now my world was gyrating uncertainly.
Sure, there was value in the meditations, and some of the multitude of multi-day courses looked good if I could only understand what they were all about, but they were sooooo expensive… and anyway, I was only there a week, so no time for that. But it was playing on my mind – if indeed it was my mind? Confusion reigned.
I was just about to book my tickets for ‘elsewhere’ when my resistance suddenly ceased! It was the calm after the storm. OK so maybe the clothes weren’t totally ridiculous and everyone else wore them, and besides I had bought them now. And comparing the ashram prices to those in UK made it a little easier to swallow. In these terms, maybe it wasn’t sooo bad. But that lead to a new dis-ease around there being nothing now to stop me carrying on and ‘doing stuff’ here. The meditating felt good, and I somehow felt a desperate need to do these courses. And I realised I needed some help, so ‘I’ could look at ‘me’ - was this a ridiculous concept? Could I really broaden my vision and shed the narrow view I had held all my life? And for the first time ever, could I challenge myself, challenge what I thought, connect with my feelings, have emotions, feel true love and discover who I really was? Now I was getting scared!
And that is when my journey really began.
I stayed a month, I had to move on because my visa was running out, but the seed had been sewn and I had taken a new name, Ankur (meaning 'new growth'). I had only scratched the surface, but at least I now knew where to dig. And just 12 months later I was back, this time for four months. Many hours of meditation, numerous courses, much pain and self-discovery later I emerged a very different person: with emotion, with a heart, with an awareness of true self and a new level of self-esteem. I experienced the qualities of joy, peace and total fulfilment that are my true self and can just feel how incredible it is to be in that space. I was not complete though, these were just the first few steps, but I had found a path….
And as well as going back to that ashram, further steps on my journey have included studying NLP, Life Coaching and Enlightenment Intensive work which I now combine with my experience for my new roles in life, as a Spiritual Life Change Coach and Meditation Teacher – my path it seems, is also to help others discover themselves.
So am I still a spectator of my life? Yes, I certainly am. But I am no longer looking from afar. I am looking from the inside, at the inside, aware of who I am and how I feel in every moment (well… most of them); and I realise that I am responsible for my own feelings and behaviour and I have real choices about my future. I am finally scripting my own show.
Now with new Openness and Awareness, I constantly seek the courage to Allow and Accept whatever is there. Just trying to be connected with myself and be real in every moment is an enormous challenge, which I relish simply because I can feel the benefits in every moment. I create my own reality – and my intention is always to do that from the blissful space of my True Self.
Check out how you can discover yourself and change your life at
http://www.spiritual-coaching.co.uk/
and
http://www.lifechangecoaching.co.uk/
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
Where 42 Kiev, Ukraine --OR-- There is no Bad Weather, Only Bad Clothes
'There is no bad weather, only bad clothes' I was told as I arrived in snowy sub-zero Kiev with what had suddenly become a backpack of substandard garments. I did find that this was offset by volume, and so wearing an unlikely high number of layers made the weather improve significantly. However it wasn't until, after some days, when there was a sudden rise in temperature (up to zero) that I started to feel 'warm'.
I asked a local girl what Ukraine was famous for. After a moments thought she replied 'Andriy Shevchenko (footballer)... and Chernobyl !' Both expensive mistakes - one seems to have faded into just a distant memory whilst the other is still red hot and can only be visted with a Geiger counter in hand.
The Grey
- The Cloud - In India 2 years ago I remember that I only saw one cloud (in a blue sky) in 2 weeks. It is the same here, one cloud in 2 weeks, except that this single cloud is the colour of an elephant and the size of Eastern Europe, plus it is stuck right here for 2 weeks!
- The sun is a stranger - she alone is able to temporarily life the gloom. Even the snow, tempoarily dazzling with its pureness, soon fades to grey as it strives towards uniformity with its resting place, soon disolving into a darker landscape devoid of life other than for grey pigeons, stark trees - a reminder of what once was and what may be again. This land, and many of the people seem in hibernation, waiting for the first signs of spring.
- Walking - Most civilisations have developed simple but effective systems to cope with the elements, but here, despite regular snowfalls, partial thaws and refreezing, not one thought seems to have been directed at reducing the paths to anything other than an ice rink. Actually there is one man that does this. One man in the whole of Ukraine (which is the largest country wholly within Europe) who has the job of clearing the paths - I know this because I saw him once near the border with Poland - but if he isnt visiting your city this year, your paths will remain icey.
- Churches - At first I thought that going into a church to get out of the cold was a good idea. But most must have ganged up against paying their electric and heating bills and surely have been cut-off as a result. Entering into most is being plunged into a dark domed freezer with a small window (with curtains) high up on a far wall. I warmed my frozen hands above the forest of candles lit by the orthodox worshippers.
- Black and brown bears still dance in the circus to a human tune. A sad throwback to me, but the locals see nothing wrong in parading these animals in chains.
- Zebra crossing marking on the road have faded to... nothing. Not that it was that important because even when the green man is displayed cars can still 'go' (legally) so long as they avoid hitting any stray pedestrains who may have decided to risk crossing the road. As a result the traffic doesnt go that fast but it randomly lurches across the crossing from gap to gap without warning. Personally I prefer to cross on the red man as at least the cars are predictable...
- The Metro - Fast, efficient, cheap and packed. The escalators are by far the longest I have ever seen. Unfortunately the blue 'm' signs on the surface are tiny so it is almost impossible to spot where the station entrances are. 'Fortunately(?)' there seems to be a Macdonald's next to each one and the large golden arches are far easier to spot...
- The tiresome ritual of dressing in multiple layers before stepping out the door, and the reverse when I came back... Inside it was warm though!
The Bright
- The Beach - amongst the tower blocks there are a scattering of lakes and sandy beaches have appeared - there is a whole beach culture, sunbeds, sun, volleyball... at least there is in summer... in winter they are not surpringly desolate.
- The Food - Traditional, tasty and healthy. Ok so there are numerous MacDonald's, but excluding them the food is good and real. No nasty cook chill preprepared meals here. And the soups are something else.
- Caviare - Cheap and after the initial shock of having fish eggs on bread for breakfast (and many other meals), it was tasty!
- The metro costs 1/50 of that in London, the bus 1/10, beer 1/5, coffee 1/2 whilst bananas are more expensive. But the average earnings are far lower than London, although there are enough rich people for a significant number of western sports cars and designer handbag shops.
- Beer is cheaper than milk! And they also make English beer - Porter to be exact (one bottle has the Houses of Parliament on it)- and they do it so well that I exported some.
- The Opera - 'slightly' more accessible/cheaper than in UK - I saw La Traviatta in Italian with Ukrainian 'sub-titles' - so I had no idea what was going on.
- Tea - A strange several hour tea ceremony (involving music and dancing) with green tea balls which incredibly grew into flowers when put in boiling water - and the tea tasted good too! Ok so tea balls come from China but I have never seen them anywhere else... nor do I know how they work.
- Eating original Chicken Kiev in Kiev. Tasty.
Oh and my trip was so well timed that I missed Xmas in UK AND Ukraine. I spent 25/12 in Kiev and returned before the Ukraine Xmas on 7/1. Though we did get a real Xmas/New Year tree and covered it with lights
So it was an eye opener - I would love to go back in a warmer time of the year when there are less grey clouds!
Love
Ankur
I asked a local girl what Ukraine was famous for. After a moments thought she replied 'Andriy Shevchenko (footballer)... and Chernobyl !' Both expensive mistakes - one seems to have faded into just a distant memory whilst the other is still red hot and can only be visted with a Geiger counter in hand.
The Grey
- The Cloud - In India 2 years ago I remember that I only saw one cloud (in a blue sky) in 2 weeks. It is the same here, one cloud in 2 weeks, except that this single cloud is the colour of an elephant and the size of Eastern Europe, plus it is stuck right here for 2 weeks!
- Whenever I have visited ex-Soviet countries (Ukraine was part of USSR 1922-1991) I have seen the Soviet style housing i.e. grey tower blocs (sic), and as usual here they are situated some distance from the centre, across the (frozen) river. However this is the first time I have 'lived' in one. There is a dense forest of concrete blocs, a whole city 'nicely' planned out around amenities and sprouting as far as I can see. The gardener has indeed been successful. The age of each can be deduced from merely counting its floors - the oldest have only 6 whilst the new ones (yes they are still building) go up to 20. Inside the common areas the decor has disintegrated not through vandalism but just because it was never really meant to last 20 years. The not so rich are crammed in with an extended family sleeping in one room (plus kitchen and bathroom). The 'richer' may have a spare room to rent out. Either way, space is jealously guarded and the number of rooms a well boasted measure of wealth.
- Away from the spectacular Soviet monstrosities of the centrally planned centre, uniform grey men have thrown up repetitive housing blocks in their own image, or maybe this modern barracks for the people is intended to be a reflection of the featureless monotony of our favorite depressing gun metal grey cloud which dominates the country and so camoflages the housing as it merges into the freezing landscape. These central planners have seared their brand deep into the psyche of the people who reluctantly but obediently buy into it.
- The sun is a stranger - she alone is able to temporarily life the gloom. Even the snow, tempoarily dazzling with its pureness, soon fades to grey as it strives towards uniformity with its resting place, soon disolving into a darker landscape devoid of life other than for grey pigeons, stark trees - a reminder of what once was and what may be again. This land, and many of the people seem in hibernation, waiting for the first signs of spring.
- Walking - Most civilisations have developed simple but effective systems to cope with the elements, but here, despite regular snowfalls, partial thaws and refreezing, not one thought seems to have been directed at reducing the paths to anything other than an ice rink. Actually there is one man that does this. One man in the whole of Ukraine (which is the largest country wholly within Europe) who has the job of clearing the paths - I know this because I saw him once near the border with Poland - but if he isnt visiting your city this year, your paths will remain icey.
- Churches - At first I thought that going into a church to get out of the cold was a good idea. But most must have ganged up against paying their electric and heating bills and surely have been cut-off as a result. Entering into most is being plunged into a dark domed freezer with a small window (with curtains) high up on a far wall. I warmed my frozen hands above the forest of candles lit by the orthodox worshippers.
- Black and brown bears still dance in the circus to a human tune. A sad throwback to me, but the locals see nothing wrong in parading these animals in chains.
- Zebra crossing marking on the road have faded to... nothing. Not that it was that important because even when the green man is displayed cars can still 'go' (legally) so long as they avoid hitting any stray pedestrains who may have decided to risk crossing the road. As a result the traffic doesnt go that fast but it randomly lurches across the crossing from gap to gap without warning. Personally I prefer to cross on the red man as at least the cars are predictable...
- The Metro - Fast, efficient, cheap and packed. The escalators are by far the longest I have ever seen. Unfortunately the blue 'm' signs on the surface are tiny so it is almost impossible to spot where the station entrances are. 'Fortunately(?)' there seems to be a Macdonald's next to each one and the large golden arches are far easier to spot...
- The tiresome ritual of dressing in multiple layers before stepping out the door, and the reverse when I came back... Inside it was warm though!
The Bright
- The Beach - amongst the tower blocks there are a scattering of lakes and sandy beaches have appeared - there is a whole beach culture, sunbeds, sun, volleyball... at least there is in summer... in winter they are not surpringly desolate.
- The Food - Traditional, tasty and healthy. Ok so there are numerous MacDonald's, but excluding them the food is good and real. No nasty cook chill preprepared meals here. And the soups are something else.
- Caviare - Cheap and after the initial shock of having fish eggs on bread for breakfast (and many other meals), it was tasty!
- The metro costs 1/50 of that in London, the bus 1/10, beer 1/5, coffee 1/2 whilst bananas are more expensive. But the average earnings are far lower than London, although there are enough rich people for a significant number of western sports cars and designer handbag shops.
- Beer is cheaper than milk! And they also make English beer - Porter to be exact (one bottle has the Houses of Parliament on it)- and they do it so well that I exported some.
- The Opera - 'slightly' more accessible/cheaper than in UK - I saw La Traviatta in Italian with Ukrainian 'sub-titles' - so I had no idea what was going on.
- Tea - A strange several hour tea ceremony (involving music and dancing) with green tea balls which incredibly grew into flowers when put in boiling water - and the tea tasted good too! Ok so tea balls come from China but I have never seen them anywhere else... nor do I know how they work.
- Eating original Chicken Kiev in Kiev. Tasty.
Oh and my trip was so well timed that I missed Xmas in UK AND Ukraine. I spent 25/12 in Kiev and returned before the Ukraine Xmas on 7/1. Though we did get a real Xmas/New Year tree and covered it with lights
So it was an eye opener - I would love to go back in a warmer time of the year when there are less grey clouds!
Love
Ankur
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