I was a spectator, not only of the spectacular crescendo of explosions that enlightened the Thames in the first minutes of the 21st century, but I was a spectator in my life too. Just watching it bounce along in no particular direction. Of course I did have direction, but it was from work and others. My life was being directed by others; I was just fitting in, to their show. What was I getting out of my life? Where was I going?
I was a bank manager. A hard-working, focussed, stressed and thoroughly pissed-off bank manager. I had a ‘good’ job and I played hard too, but I was (very) slow in realising that I didn’t have a Life. I was merely a distant and powerless observer of my existence, as it slid aimlessly down a slippery slope. I was devoid of feeling, unknown to joy, and had never been truly ‘in love’. And I was a complete stranger to the values of peace and fulfilment. Plus I was lost in the maze that is the corporate jungle…
And then it all changed.
Within months I had a choice to make. Move to another role with the bank or take a redundancy. I thought, I analysed (‘cos that’s what I did best), I thought again, and from somewhere I found uncertain courage to take the money and run. And run I did. Well actually I stumbled a bit at first. But once in my stride I ran and ran and ran. For six years, through over 50 countries and across six continents (Antarctica still eludes me).
Along the way I ended up in India and thought that I would take in an ashram for a week just because… well, to see what it was like and to try something different (I had never meditated before). And luckily I found a fellow traveller to drag me along to one, although not without a stack of reservations on my part about... everything.
So what was it like? Like getting up at 5.30am to do a one-hour very active meditation, then a shower, then a one-hour very silent meditation, and that was all before breakfast. And then meditate some more during the morning, more in the afternoon and some more in the evening. And they were the easy bits! I struggled with the numerous petty rules – you must wear a robe, and it must be this colour during the day… and this colour in the evening (more stuff to buy)… and only this colour trunks in the swimming pool… and use this payment card in the day but only this one in the evening and… AAAAAAARGGG! Plus it was very expensive by Indian standards and I was a backpacker on a budget. Now suddenly submerged and lost in a bewildering world, rules stalked me - openly, money flowed worryingly quickly from ATM to ashram, and the only thing I was ‘Being’, was totally confused. For five long days I fought and struggled bravely with these multi-headed monsters. And then tragedy! I was shocked to learn that my mind, which I had considered to be my ultra reliable and dependable sidekick ‘til then, was actually the sworn enemy of meditation and even that it wasn’t me at all! By now my world was gyrating uncertainly.
Sure, there was value in the meditations, and some of the multitude of multi-day courses looked good if I could only understand what they were all about, but they were sooooo expensive… and anyway, I was only there a week, so no time for that. But it was playing on my mind – if indeed it was my mind? Confusion reigned.
I was just about to book my tickets for ‘elsewhere’ when my resistance suddenly ceased! It was the calm after the storm. OK so maybe the clothes weren’t totally ridiculous and everyone else wore them, and besides I had bought them now. And comparing the ashram prices to those in UK made it a little easier to swallow. In these terms, maybe it wasn’t sooo bad. But that lead to a new dis-ease around there being nothing now to stop me carrying on and ‘doing stuff’ here. The meditating felt good, and I somehow felt a desperate need to do these courses. And I realised I needed some help, so ‘I’ could look at ‘me’ - was this a ridiculous concept? Could I really broaden my vision and shed the narrow view I had held all my life? And for the first time ever, could I challenge myself, challenge what I thought, connect with my feelings, have emotions, feel true love and discover who I really was? Now I was getting scared!
And that is when my journey really began.
I stayed a month, I had to move on because my visa was running out, but the seed had been sewn and I had taken a new name, Ankur (meaning 'new growth'). I had only scratched the surface, but at least I now knew where to dig. And just 12 months later I was back, this time for four months. Many hours of meditation, numerous courses, much pain and self-discovery later I emerged a very different person: with emotion, with a heart, with an awareness of true self and a new level of self-esteem. I experienced the qualities of joy, peace and total fulfilment that are my true self and can just feel how incredible it is to be in that space. I was not complete though, these were just the first few steps, but I had found a path….
And as well as going back to that ashram, further steps on my journey have included studying NLP, Life Coaching and Enlightenment Intensive work which I now combine with my experience for my new roles in life, as a Spiritual Life Change Coach and Meditation Teacher – my path it seems, is also to help others discover themselves.
So am I still a spectator of my life? Yes, I certainly am. But I am no longer looking from afar. I am looking from the inside, at the inside, aware of who I am and how I feel in every moment (well… most of them); and I realise that I am responsible for my own feelings and behaviour and I have real choices about my future. I am finally scripting my own show.
Now with new Openness and Awareness, I constantly seek the courage to Allow and Accept whatever is there. Just trying to be connected with myself and be real in every moment is an enormous challenge, which I relish simply because I can feel the benefits in every moment. I create my own reality – and my intention is always to do that from the blissful space of my True Self.
Check out how you can discover yourself and change your life at
http://www.spiritual-coaching.co.uk/
and
http://www.lifechangecoaching.co.uk/
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Monday, 21 January 2008
Wednesday, 31 January 2007
Where 41 - Pune, India --OR-- How to Cross the Road and Survive
HI Everyone
I wake up to suddenly realise that I have been away for nearly 2 months and havent sent any communication worth the name. Some of you may think this is a good thing... others will read on...
So, in India (again) since early Dec, planned for 6 weeks but extended a couple of weeks to complete what I started - which means I will be home shortly, although home will mean London again (after over 6 years of being elsewhere) just a couple of days after I get back...
So far I have managed to :
- Completely miss Xmas (actually a few local shops did start selling xmas decorations about 2 days before xmas, and plastic pine plantations appeared outide others, so I did suddenly realise it was happening ... somewhere) and I did import an Xmas pud especially... It did slip by pretty much unnoticed though.
- Celebrated a completely alcohol free new year (in fact I have had no alcohol since leaving the UK)
- had about 100 'curries' [well, Indian food] - lunch and dinner every day and occasionally breakfast.
- nearly get run over many many times (but i have just had to accept this as part of the culture) which brings me to a favorite topic...
Crossing the road
The traffic on the road I have to walk up and down has massively worsened since even a year ago. I have worked out that the following techniques can be recommended(?):
a) wait for a decent gap in the traffic which may occur between 11pm and 8am (to 10am on a sunday).
b) close the eyes and walk slowly across ignoring all the horns blaring which they do constantly anyway (this generally works with motorbikes but not so well with cars and certainly not with lorries and tankers, so it is best to have a decent idea of what is coming before the eyes are closed)
c) wait until a cow crosses and hide behind it.
Method c) was of course the favorite method but now the traffic has increased to even more improbable proportions the cows cannot stand it any more and have left for more pleasant areas leaving the human population stuck on one side of the road or other for most of the day.
So I hired a bicycle for bout 10p a day and quickly realised that this was just a quicker way to 'nirvana' than walking. In addition to the rider, hire does include ample accommodation for at least 1 (and I have seen 2) passengers and maybe even a working brake. However, turning right is about the most dangerous thing one can do in India outside of being a politician, as 2 wheels are a bigger target than 2 legs!
In a recent survey around 20% of Indians admitted to driving on the wrong side of the road. This means that any normal 2 lane road immediately becomes a 4 lane road with contraflows either side of the two mains lanes. This unplanned but apparently unavoidable chaos is 'OK' because it is safer to do this for short distances (less than a mile) where entrance and exit are on the same side of the road because it is far too dangerous to cross the road once, let alone twice just to get on the 'correct' side! In fact I really have no idea which is the correct side anymore, suffice to say that I just ride my bike along the path of least resistence (pedestrains are softer than cars and trucks!)
Apart from instantly forgetting what side of the road they should be on, Indians have astoundingly good memories, probably cos they hardly ever write anything down (outside state run bureaucracies). I was surprised that the second time I went to a particular restaurant, the waiter reminded me exactly what I had had the first time I had been there! Then I was amazed that the first time I went to collect my laundry the guy in the shack said my name before I could say anything and instantly pulled out my washing knowing exactly what was there - this appently is normal. I was even more astounded when later I realised that when I dropped my washing off, that man wasnt actually there, someone else was...
The Inner Journey
And to the reason I came back here - to spend 7 days in a room (with windows and without padded walls - so much more civilised than some of the stuff I have done) having someone ask 'Tell me who you are?'. And now I know 'Who Am I'. Well, it is not quite as simple as that, but I do have a lot better idea and a lot has changed inside as a result of that. I could try and explain how this works in detail, but ... basically finding out what is there in that moment and expressing it frees up so much of the crap which isnt me, and underneath it all, is me - it is that simple.
And as a result of the huge impact that had on me I went on to train as a facilitator for the process and go deeper into it (intellectually and in an effort to uncover more of what I am). So I am a couple of weeks late back, but who is really counting???
Apart from that I did short courses on Living in the Moment and one on Intuition (relating to tarot reading).
So when I get back I will no doubt be looking for volunteers for Life Coaching, Tarot Reading and those who want to find out who they really are. Anyone interested?
What else to say - except almost uninterrupted sunshine, around 30C, no TVs, no meat ... and I will miss it all...
Love and Hugs
Ankur/Pete
I wake up to suddenly realise that I have been away for nearly 2 months and havent sent any communication worth the name. Some of you may think this is a good thing... others will read on...
So, in India (again) since early Dec, planned for 6 weeks but extended a couple of weeks to complete what I started - which means I will be home shortly, although home will mean London again (after over 6 years of being elsewhere) just a couple of days after I get back...
So far I have managed to :
- Completely miss Xmas (actually a few local shops did start selling xmas decorations about 2 days before xmas, and plastic pine plantations appeared outide others, so I did suddenly realise it was happening ... somewhere) and I did import an Xmas pud especially... It did slip by pretty much unnoticed though.
- Celebrated a completely alcohol free new year (in fact I have had no alcohol since leaving the UK)
- had about 100 'curries' [well, Indian food] - lunch and dinner every day and occasionally breakfast.
- nearly get run over many many times (but i have just had to accept this as part of the culture) which brings me to a favorite topic...
Crossing the road
The traffic on the road I have to walk up and down has massively worsened since even a year ago. I have worked out that the following techniques can be recommended(?):
a) wait for a decent gap in the traffic which may occur between 11pm and 8am (to 10am on a sunday).
b) close the eyes and walk slowly across ignoring all the horns blaring which they do constantly anyway (this generally works with motorbikes but not so well with cars and certainly not with lorries and tankers, so it is best to have a decent idea of what is coming before the eyes are closed)
c) wait until a cow crosses and hide behind it.
Method c) was of course the favorite method but now the traffic has increased to even more improbable proportions the cows cannot stand it any more and have left for more pleasant areas leaving the human population stuck on one side of the road or other for most of the day.
So I hired a bicycle for bout 10p a day and quickly realised that this was just a quicker way to 'nirvana' than walking. In addition to the rider, hire does include ample accommodation for at least 1 (and I have seen 2) passengers and maybe even a working brake. However, turning right is about the most dangerous thing one can do in India outside of being a politician, as 2 wheels are a bigger target than 2 legs!
In a recent survey around 20% of Indians admitted to driving on the wrong side of the road. This means that any normal 2 lane road immediately becomes a 4 lane road with contraflows either side of the two mains lanes. This unplanned but apparently unavoidable chaos is 'OK' because it is safer to do this for short distances (less than a mile) where entrance and exit are on the same side of the road because it is far too dangerous to cross the road once, let alone twice just to get on the 'correct' side! In fact I really have no idea which is the correct side anymore, suffice to say that I just ride my bike along the path of least resistence (pedestrains are softer than cars and trucks!)
Apart from instantly forgetting what side of the road they should be on, Indians have astoundingly good memories, probably cos they hardly ever write anything down (outside state run bureaucracies). I was surprised that the second time I went to a particular restaurant, the waiter reminded me exactly what I had had the first time I had been there! Then I was amazed that the first time I went to collect my laundry the guy in the shack said my name before I could say anything and instantly pulled out my washing knowing exactly what was there - this appently is normal. I was even more astounded when later I realised that when I dropped my washing off, that man wasnt actually there, someone else was...
The Inner Journey
And to the reason I came back here - to spend 7 days in a room (with windows and without padded walls - so much more civilised than some of the stuff I have done) having someone ask 'Tell me who you are?'. And now I know 'Who Am I'. Well, it is not quite as simple as that, but I do have a lot better idea and a lot has changed inside as a result of that. I could try and explain how this works in detail, but ... basically finding out what is there in that moment and expressing it frees up so much of the crap which isnt me, and underneath it all, is me - it is that simple.
And as a result of the huge impact that had on me I went on to train as a facilitator for the process and go deeper into it (intellectually and in an effort to uncover more of what I am). So I am a couple of weeks late back, but who is really counting???
Apart from that I did short courses on Living in the Moment and one on Intuition (relating to tarot reading).
So when I get back I will no doubt be looking for volunteers for Life Coaching, Tarot Reading and those who want to find out who they really are. Anyone interested?
What else to say - except almost uninterrupted sunshine, around 30C, no TVs, no meat ... and I will miss it all...
Love and Hugs
Ankur/Pete
Tuesday, 11 April 2006
Where 38 - Pune (still), India --OR-- How to Have Everything You Want so long as You Want Nothing at All
Hiya
Thanks for all the emails warning me about being brainwashed at ashrams in India. I'm sure some of them were out of genuine concern, and the others were at least amusing.
I have spent most of the past month indulging myself in massages and the like - not intentionally of course, but it just happened that way ...
- Firstly, I went to th Ayuverdic doctor to try and fix my left knee which has been getting worse since I have been here (and is my excuse for not being able to kick a football with my left foot). I ended up having my whole body smothered in oil several times and then on numerous occasions my knee was swabbed firmly with boiling oil which was excruciatingly painful. At least my knee did get a lot better (back to where it was when I got here).
- Then a couple of times I had deep massage - the guy (who has been recommended to me by loads of people) found bits of me I didnt know could hurt but I floated off somewhere afterwards so it must have been good.
- Transomatic Dialogue - next I stumbled upon this, but still dont know what it means. It isn't massage but I got to lay on a table (clothes on though) and after revealing my deepest secrets to the therapist, she proceeded to talk to my body for an hour and a half - kindda weird but it went deep.
- And now finally I have decided to try Acupuncture (Tibetan style) and have needles stuck around my knee and all over the rest of me as well. Ive just started the course but I will let you know how it goes...
Just in case it seems like I am at a health farm, there are occasional reminders that I am in India, like:
Roads - Around here they love laying new roads. Unfortunately there is no overall plan and so when a road that has never been anything other than a dirt track gets tarmac'd, someone found they needed to dig a trench the whole way across within 2 days!
Language - It constantly amazes me how the locals can change languages several times in the same conversation apparently seamlessly between Hindi, Marati and English, and then back again without anyone batting an eyelid. Whether anyone really understands what is being said does not seem too important.
Pavements - these rare stretches of paradise are built around existing trees which is very enviromentally friendly (about the only thing here that is) but often to the point where the pavement is completely blocked by said tree and everyone has to walk in the road (not recommended due to ridiculous amount of traffic and standard of driving), although often there are less potholes in the road than on the (new) pavement!
Elephants walking along the road. It happens!
The diet is of course a vegatarian one (chancing eating meat here is an unnecessary risk I dont need to take) and the veg food is very good. Add to that the variety of ripe fruit available at very cheap prices and I find I am stuffing myself at every opportunity with fruit and veg and still eating more healthily than ever before. The only problem is that I'm struggling to take in enough calories, especially with the rising heat having a negative effect on everyone's appetites. So just to increase the sugar intake a few of us have started to have a weekly pig out at an unlimited thali place with loads of sweet stuff as well ... ah, the joys of Indian food... but I have definitely lost quite a few kgs since I got here.
And talking of looks, my hair is now long enough that it needs a direction to grow in other than simply outward!
____________________________________________________________________
Interlude
It is kindda strange that London is now getting over an hour more daylight than we are here but according to the BBC the temperature is attached by an elastic band to a point near freezing. Here I am just glad that it hasn't breached the 40C mark although it has been 38 or 39 most days for some time now. At least the humidity is relatively low, although that is starting to rise unstoppably in anticipation of the monsoon in June, by which time I will hopefully be back in the UK enjoying more friendly temperatures - mid 20s would be nice.
_____________________________________________________________________
And of course there are meditations - yes I am still getting up at 5.30am to jump around the inside of a marble clad pyramid although I only managed to do 26 days in a row this time as I was getting bored and wanted a few days rest. Better meditations include poi (swinging 2 small weights on strings around the head) - these can be alight but at the moment I am settling for the ones with brightly coloured scarves attached as being safer (when it all goes wrong) and better in daylight anyway; I'm not that good but for some reason a couple of people asked me to teach them, so I now teach it as well! And yes it might sound (an awful lot) like playing but this really is meditation - one of the major points of (eastern) meditation is to get out of the mind, and it really is impossible to think about what is happening to those weights at the end of the strings as they whizz round in funny patterns - so the mind just gives up ... trust me ...
And of course, Courses.
- All these courses that I have done have (eventually) brought up their share of confusion of the mind and body (emotionally) which is a bit weird at first cos it catches me unaware; suddenly, for no reason, I feel different.
- The main one this month was called 'Who is in?' which is an intensive 3 days where the first thing they do is take your watch away and then tell you to be on time, everytime. They also made us get up at 4.45am (although we had no idea what time it was) and eat boiled veg and tofu (yuk, yuk, yuk). And we were not allowed any salt and pepper either. If ever you need a reciepe for tastelessness then try tofu and diet dal.
So having got us all under their complete control 'they' sat me down opposite a partner who asked me the koan (Zen word for a riddle with no answer), 'Tell me, who is in?'; I looked inside myself and had to talk for 5 mins on how I felt (emotionally, sort of), on what was there. Then I asked my partner the same question and then 5 mins later I was asked the question again and so it went on for 3 days - I was asked 100 times and gave 100 different answers. The whole point is to bring up all these masks, personalities, egos, conditioning which are not me and discard them. Then what I am left with eventually is 'I'. And at the end of the second day I felt a different space inside me, that had been covered up by all the other rubbish - a space of contentment, beauty, happiness and bliss, and yet all so simple. Although I didn't recognise it at first I found that this was the 'I' I had been searching for!
And then I realised that I could have absolutely everything I wanted, so long as I wanted nothing!
And realising and understanding this is very powerful indeed.
Let me know if you get it!
Love and Hugs
Ankur / Pete
Thanks for all the emails warning me about being brainwashed at ashrams in India. I'm sure some of them were out of genuine concern, and the others were at least amusing.
I have spent most of the past month indulging myself in massages and the like - not intentionally of course, but it just happened that way ...
- Firstly, I went to th Ayuverdic doctor to try and fix my left knee which has been getting worse since I have been here (and is my excuse for not being able to kick a football with my left foot). I ended up having my whole body smothered in oil several times and then on numerous occasions my knee was swabbed firmly with boiling oil which was excruciatingly painful. At least my knee did get a lot better (back to where it was when I got here).
- Then a couple of times I had deep massage - the guy (who has been recommended to me by loads of people) found bits of me I didnt know could hurt but I floated off somewhere afterwards so it must have been good.
- Transomatic Dialogue - next I stumbled upon this, but still dont know what it means. It isn't massage but I got to lay on a table (clothes on though) and after revealing my deepest secrets to the therapist, she proceeded to talk to my body for an hour and a half - kindda weird but it went deep.
- And now finally I have decided to try Acupuncture (Tibetan style) and have needles stuck around my knee and all over the rest of me as well. Ive just started the course but I will let you know how it goes...
Just in case it seems like I am at a health farm, there are occasional reminders that I am in India, like:
Roads - Around here they love laying new roads. Unfortunately there is no overall plan and so when a road that has never been anything other than a dirt track gets tarmac'd, someone found they needed to dig a trench the whole way across within 2 days!
Language - It constantly amazes me how the locals can change languages several times in the same conversation apparently seamlessly between Hindi, Marati and English, and then back again without anyone batting an eyelid. Whether anyone really understands what is being said does not seem too important.
Pavements - these rare stretches of paradise are built around existing trees which is very enviromentally friendly (about the only thing here that is) but often to the point where the pavement is completely blocked by said tree and everyone has to walk in the road (not recommended due to ridiculous amount of traffic and standard of driving), although often there are less potholes in the road than on the (new) pavement!
Elephants walking along the road. It happens!
The diet is of course a vegatarian one (chancing eating meat here is an unnecessary risk I dont need to take) and the veg food is very good. Add to that the variety of ripe fruit available at very cheap prices and I find I am stuffing myself at every opportunity with fruit and veg and still eating more healthily than ever before. The only problem is that I'm struggling to take in enough calories, especially with the rising heat having a negative effect on everyone's appetites. So just to increase the sugar intake a few of us have started to have a weekly pig out at an unlimited thali place with loads of sweet stuff as well ... ah, the joys of Indian food... but I have definitely lost quite a few kgs since I got here.
And talking of looks, my hair is now long enough that it needs a direction to grow in other than simply outward!
____________________________________________________________________
Interlude
It is kindda strange that London is now getting over an hour more daylight than we are here but according to the BBC the temperature is attached by an elastic band to a point near freezing. Here I am just glad that it hasn't breached the 40C mark although it has been 38 or 39 most days for some time now. At least the humidity is relatively low, although that is starting to rise unstoppably in anticipation of the monsoon in June, by which time I will hopefully be back in the UK enjoying more friendly temperatures - mid 20s would be nice.
_____________________________________________________________________
And of course there are meditations - yes I am still getting up at 5.30am to jump around the inside of a marble clad pyramid although I only managed to do 26 days in a row this time as I was getting bored and wanted a few days rest. Better meditations include poi (swinging 2 small weights on strings around the head) - these can be alight but at the moment I am settling for the ones with brightly coloured scarves attached as being safer (when it all goes wrong) and better in daylight anyway; I'm not that good but for some reason a couple of people asked me to teach them, so I now teach it as well! And yes it might sound (an awful lot) like playing but this really is meditation - one of the major points of (eastern) meditation is to get out of the mind, and it really is impossible to think about what is happening to those weights at the end of the strings as they whizz round in funny patterns - so the mind just gives up ... trust me ...
And of course, Courses.
- All these courses that I have done have (eventually) brought up their share of confusion of the mind and body (emotionally) which is a bit weird at first cos it catches me unaware; suddenly, for no reason, I feel different.
- The main one this month was called 'Who is in?' which is an intensive 3 days where the first thing they do is take your watch away and then tell you to be on time, everytime. They also made us get up at 4.45am (although we had no idea what time it was) and eat boiled veg and tofu (yuk, yuk, yuk). And we were not allowed any salt and pepper either. If ever you need a reciepe for tastelessness then try tofu and diet dal.
So having got us all under their complete control 'they' sat me down opposite a partner who asked me the koan (Zen word for a riddle with no answer), 'Tell me, who is in?'; I looked inside myself and had to talk for 5 mins on how I felt (emotionally, sort of), on what was there. Then I asked my partner the same question and then 5 mins later I was asked the question again and so it went on for 3 days - I was asked 100 times and gave 100 different answers. The whole point is to bring up all these masks, personalities, egos, conditioning which are not me and discard them. Then what I am left with eventually is 'I'. And at the end of the second day I felt a different space inside me, that had been covered up by all the other rubbish - a space of contentment, beauty, happiness and bliss, and yet all so simple. Although I didn't recognise it at first I found that this was the 'I' I had been searching for!
And then I realised that I could have absolutely everything I wanted, so long as I wanted nothing!
And realising and understanding this is very powerful indeed.
Let me know if you get it!
Love and Hugs
Ankur / Pete
Sunday, 12 February 2006
Where 36 - Pune, India --OR-- The Path to Bliss and Emptiness via Meditation and Pain
HI
I have been in India for a month now and what a time it has been. I have spent most of it in isolation, not allowed to talk to anyone in 2 stretches of 10 days and 12 days each. It has been a journey, nay, an adventure, albeit of a different sort to the type I usually end up having, but I am all the better for it. The bad news is that I have spent a tonne of money and tomorrow start another 8 days of intensive course, a break of 2 days then a final 3 days. Then I really will need a holiday!!
So back to the beginning:
Arrived in Mumbai (Bombay) with the aim this trip of gaining some inner peace and happiness - simple enough goals, perhaps?
Firstly, I went to Pune Riverside Vipassana Centre for a 10 day course. Vipassana is an ancient form of meditation as used by the Buddha to gain enlightenment 2,500 years ago (from where Buddhism comes). This pure form was preserved only in Burma and in the past 40 years has spread around the world. Meditation in the west is often seen as a means of relaxation and concentration, giving the mind 'space', but its real purpose is change and there is no change as great in a person as the path to enlightenment - not that I even want to try and follow it too closely, at least not now, but there are many benefits to be gained along that path such as knowing who I really am, or having a better idea at least.
So I end up with 30 guys and 20 women (nearly all local Indians) and in strict segregation, silence etc for 10 days. The timetable was:
4am Get up
4.30 2 hours meditation
6.30 Breakfast
8 Special 1 hour meditation (no moving at all allowed)
9 2 hour meditation
11 lunch
1pm 1.5 hour meditation
2.30 Special 1 hour meditation (no moving at all allowed)
3.30 1.5 hour meditation
5pm Snack (cross between large rice krispies and Bombay mix, a banana and milk)
6pm Special 1 hour meditation (no moving at all allowed)
7pm Video discourse
8.30 Half hour meditation
9pm Finish
9.30 lights out
So about 10 hours of meditation plus 1.5 hour video. And this was Hardcore! Not the silence cos everyone around was in silence as well, so no problem. Not even the food regime of virtually nothing after midday, was that tough: surprisingly I could survive on just Bombay Rice Krispies, banana and milk for 19 hours. It was the sitting there for 10-hours a day, day after day, that was 'hell'. Sitting there very still conentrating on breath for first 3 days, and then on sensations all over the body. Emotionally it was nothing. Physically the first 4 days were excruiating. Mentally the process was like smashing my head against a brick wall time after time. Insanity is too small a word for it. And at the end of 10 days I was told if I did this for 2 hours a day for the rest of my life I would benefit greatly! Thanks, have you nothing that works a little faster?
On the 3rd day, when i was really struggling with it all, I did have a moment; something inside me clicked and I suddenly broke into my broadest smile ever - a piece of inner happiness had escaped from my repressed core and stirred my soul. Fantastic! But that was the only such moment.
So after 10-days we left (there was a board with the no. of the day it was, otherwise I would have had no clue at all - one day was exactly, to the detail, the same as the one before and the one after!) - and I wondered what the point was as I didnt feel any different to the day I arrived (exept for being thankful that it was over). We all crammed on a public bus which was full before we all got on - I managed to sit on my luggage in the aisle, desperately hanging on as we crashed over the bumps, dust being thrust through the floor into my face - the usual Indian hell. And then I finally got it! This wasn't torture at all it was bliss! No matter what the external factors it was what was going on inside that counted. I felt great. Alive. Happy. And no ordinary crap was gonna stop me feeling that way.
--------Interlude--------
Cos I'm English I have to mention the weather!
The mornings are bloody freezing her - well not quite but it has been down to 5 C on a couple of mornings. but by 9am it is warm, and 1pm roasting in the sun. And there is sun - one morning a few weeks ago I saw a couple of small clouds in the distance - they have been the only ones this month.
--------End of interlude-------
I didnt know then, that what I had done so far was just the easy bit! Because, before I really had time to understand the effets of the 10-day vipassana, I was in a different part of Pune at Osho meditation centre - for meditation of a much different style - active, fun and relaxing. Not that I went there for that, cos 3 days after I got there, there was a course starting: Fresh Beginnings for a New Life. So far I have just done the first 12 days, there is a 3 day break and then a further eight days, a break of two days and 3 more days to integrate all the changes. Yes this place is all about change in a big way. The 12 days i have just finished was all primal work - digging up the conditioning put on us by mum and dad in the first 7 years of our lives. And there was plenty of it. Now this really is hardcore (oh so maybe the Vipassana was easy?). The 16 of us were told what to do every minute of the 12 days. We all slept in a communal room for 6 hours a night - they kept us busy every night til 11.30pm and we had to get up at 5.30am (almost a lie in after the 4am of vipassana) for 1 hour Dynamic meditation (exhausting). Throughout the day we were in an underground room with padded walls and we all had to bear our soles like we never thought possible before. Suffice to say that those 15 people and 9 helpers/teachers in the room know more about me now then anyone else on the planet - holding back was not an option - it was blood (not much), sweat (loads) and tears (plenty) all the way. This was mainly emotional pain, but often a lot of physical pain had to be gone through to release it. Silence was more difficult because there was a massive energy within the group and at meal times people around us (not on the course) were talking. We were on a speial diet of no sugar/honey (or anything with sugar in), no tea, no coffee, no alcohol, no drugs, very limited dairy and loads of other rules. F***! It was hard.
My summary:
Primal work is like committing open heart sugery on yourself (without an anesthetic) - it is more painful than you could imagine, but gives you the chance of freedom in a new life.
And that is where I am now. Empty. Simply Empty.
All that supression and supressed emotion of my whole life has been forced out. All my emotional defences went with them. I am vulnerable. A bit scared. Cautious, because any emotional event, however small can fill me with anger, sadness, joy or love - and life in india is full of all of these all of the time. Luckily the support is there, there are people around me who are wonderful, there are a few who spread a different energy - this is a time to choose who I spend my time with very carefully. And I am no longer controlled by all the parental rules which I had stored in my head for all these years and truly thought were my own values. This really is a fresh beginning. Now I am me, I have so many choices about were to go and what to do next. And this was just the first part of the course - the second part starts tomorrow...
But am I scared?
Yep!
More soon!
Love and Hugs
Ankur/Pete
I have been in India for a month now and what a time it has been. I have spent most of it in isolation, not allowed to talk to anyone in 2 stretches of 10 days and 12 days each. It has been a journey, nay, an adventure, albeit of a different sort to the type I usually end up having, but I am all the better for it. The bad news is that I have spent a tonne of money and tomorrow start another 8 days of intensive course, a break of 2 days then a final 3 days. Then I really will need a holiday!!
So back to the beginning:
Arrived in Mumbai (Bombay) with the aim this trip of gaining some inner peace and happiness - simple enough goals, perhaps?
Firstly, I went to Pune Riverside Vipassana Centre for a 10 day course. Vipassana is an ancient form of meditation as used by the Buddha to gain enlightenment 2,500 years ago (from where Buddhism comes). This pure form was preserved only in Burma and in the past 40 years has spread around the world. Meditation in the west is often seen as a means of relaxation and concentration, giving the mind 'space', but its real purpose is change and there is no change as great in a person as the path to enlightenment - not that I even want to try and follow it too closely, at least not now, but there are many benefits to be gained along that path such as knowing who I really am, or having a better idea at least.
So I end up with 30 guys and 20 women (nearly all local Indians) and in strict segregation, silence etc for 10 days. The timetable was:
4am Get up
4.30 2 hours meditation
6.30 Breakfast
8 Special 1 hour meditation (no moving at all allowed)
9 2 hour meditation
11 lunch
1pm 1.5 hour meditation
2.30 Special 1 hour meditation (no moving at all allowed)
3.30 1.5 hour meditation
5pm Snack (cross between large rice krispies and Bombay mix, a banana and milk)
6pm Special 1 hour meditation (no moving at all allowed)
7pm Video discourse
8.30 Half hour meditation
9pm Finish
9.30 lights out
So about 10 hours of meditation plus 1.5 hour video. And this was Hardcore! Not the silence cos everyone around was in silence as well, so no problem. Not even the food regime of virtually nothing after midday, was that tough: surprisingly I could survive on just Bombay Rice Krispies, banana and milk for 19 hours. It was the sitting there for 10-hours a day, day after day, that was 'hell'. Sitting there very still conentrating on breath for first 3 days, and then on sensations all over the body. Emotionally it was nothing. Physically the first 4 days were excruiating. Mentally the process was like smashing my head against a brick wall time after time. Insanity is too small a word for it. And at the end of 10 days I was told if I did this for 2 hours a day for the rest of my life I would benefit greatly! Thanks, have you nothing that works a little faster?
On the 3rd day, when i was really struggling with it all, I did have a moment; something inside me clicked and I suddenly broke into my broadest smile ever - a piece of inner happiness had escaped from my repressed core and stirred my soul. Fantastic! But that was the only such moment.
So after 10-days we left (there was a board with the no. of the day it was, otherwise I would have had no clue at all - one day was exactly, to the detail, the same as the one before and the one after!) - and I wondered what the point was as I didnt feel any different to the day I arrived (exept for being thankful that it was over). We all crammed on a public bus which was full before we all got on - I managed to sit on my luggage in the aisle, desperately hanging on as we crashed over the bumps, dust being thrust through the floor into my face - the usual Indian hell. And then I finally got it! This wasn't torture at all it was bliss! No matter what the external factors it was what was going on inside that counted. I felt great. Alive. Happy. And no ordinary crap was gonna stop me feeling that way.
--------Interlude--------
Cos I'm English I have to mention the weather!
The mornings are bloody freezing her - well not quite but it has been down to 5 C on a couple of mornings. but by 9am it is warm, and 1pm roasting in the sun. And there is sun - one morning a few weeks ago I saw a couple of small clouds in the distance - they have been the only ones this month.
--------End of interlude-------
I didnt know then, that what I had done so far was just the easy bit! Because, before I really had time to understand the effets of the 10-day vipassana, I was in a different part of Pune at Osho meditation centre - for meditation of a much different style - active, fun and relaxing. Not that I went there for that, cos 3 days after I got there, there was a course starting: Fresh Beginnings for a New Life. So far I have just done the first 12 days, there is a 3 day break and then a further eight days, a break of two days and 3 more days to integrate all the changes. Yes this place is all about change in a big way. The 12 days i have just finished was all primal work - digging up the conditioning put on us by mum and dad in the first 7 years of our lives. And there was plenty of it. Now this really is hardcore (oh so maybe the Vipassana was easy?). The 16 of us were told what to do every minute of the 12 days. We all slept in a communal room for 6 hours a night - they kept us busy every night til 11.30pm and we had to get up at 5.30am (almost a lie in after the 4am of vipassana) for 1 hour Dynamic meditation (exhausting). Throughout the day we were in an underground room with padded walls and we all had to bear our soles like we never thought possible before. Suffice to say that those 15 people and 9 helpers/teachers in the room know more about me now then anyone else on the planet - holding back was not an option - it was blood (not much), sweat (loads) and tears (plenty) all the way. This was mainly emotional pain, but often a lot of physical pain had to be gone through to release it. Silence was more difficult because there was a massive energy within the group and at meal times people around us (not on the course) were talking. We were on a speial diet of no sugar/honey (or anything with sugar in), no tea, no coffee, no alcohol, no drugs, very limited dairy and loads of other rules. F***! It was hard.
My summary:
Primal work is like committing open heart sugery on yourself (without an anesthetic) - it is more painful than you could imagine, but gives you the chance of freedom in a new life.
And that is where I am now. Empty. Simply Empty.
All that supression and supressed emotion of my whole life has been forced out. All my emotional defences went with them. I am vulnerable. A bit scared. Cautious, because any emotional event, however small can fill me with anger, sadness, joy or love - and life in india is full of all of these all of the time. Luckily the support is there, there are people around me who are wonderful, there are a few who spread a different energy - this is a time to choose who I spend my time with very carefully. And I am no longer controlled by all the parental rules which I had stored in my head for all these years and truly thought were my own values. This really is a fresh beginning. Now I am me, I have so many choices about were to go and what to do next. And this was just the first part of the course - the second part starts tomorrow...
But am I scared?
Yep!
More soon!
Love and Hugs
Ankur/Pete
Saturday, 19 February 2005
Where 31 - Delhi, India --OR-- How I Found Out Who I Am in an Underground Padded Room
HI Everyone,
Seems ages since I was in Goa dodging the waves - since then I have spent a month at an ashram followed by a couple of weeks rushing around.
Firstly, the Osho Ashram in Pune (actually it is now called the Osho International Meditation Resort so they can charge loads of cash for meditating there [ashrams are normally funded by donation only]). I was only intending to go for a few days but ... ended up staying a month - you know what it's like when you find somewhere that it so not like real life (or real travelling), it is not only easy to stay, it is frightening just thinking about having to face the outside world again, let alone actually doing it. Some people I met there are still too scared to come out, and a months stay may seem like a long time, but it hardly made me a long term inmate by Osho standards.
If you think meditation is about sitting silently in a room with loads of other people also sitting silently in a room then think again. OK, so some of it did involve sitting silently in a room with loads of other people also sitting silently in a room (the quality of this silence was something else, if you made a sound or coughed you were swiftly thrown out (quietly of course) by the neo nazi guards), but most of the meditations were dynamic, meaning you have to move and make sounds and stuff like that. In the 6am Dynamic Meditation we were encouraged to make as much noise as possible for 10 mins; and immediately after was 10 mins of jumping up and down continuously - call it circuit training if you like!
What kept me there really were the courses - I did two 3-days and one 5-day course - mainly looking at how my childhood conditioning affects me now (yes it is all to do with the people called parents) and how I can change back into who I was supposed to be and not the stranger I had become. The 5-day one was a bit tough as we (30 of us) were in total silence outside the group room for thefirst 4.5 days. I had to get up at 5.30am, and didnt get back to my room until 11.30pm - and then had to do homework! So there wasn't much time for sleep ...
Sharing all those emotionally intimate experiences in an underground padded room with 30 people I didn't know, and wasn't allowed to speak to, was kind of weird but very powerful; then after 5 days when we talked I realised I had 30 intimate friends who I didn't know a thing about - and none of us could think where to start. But when we did get it together it was like having a whole new family of friends, wonderful!
So after a month of what approximates to an exorcism of my past, I turned out to be a completely new person (perhaps a slight exaggeration), although whether I changed back the moment I stepped back into the street I'm not yet sure. Anyway to celebrate being this new person (however briefly) I had my head shaved (OK so that was years ago) and have a new name, Ankur (I'm sure I have been called something similar to that before anyway). Whether this is a final step or just a first step I'm not really sure, but it is a step...
So having gritted my teeth and with one eye on my visas' expiry dates, I left for more orthodox 'adventures' - up north to Rajasthan and into the desert:
Jodhpur (which really did give its name to a pair of trousers) - A huge fort, perched on an enormous slab of rock dominates this town, nearly all of which is painted blue (they reckon it helps keep the mossies away, but what mossies would be doing in the desert I have no idea). And apart from (What have the Romans ever done for us?)the very inpressive fort, the lovely (and cheap) food, superb lassis (note for Scottish people - these are yogurt drinks, not girls), the clock tower, full on sun, views across the town from rooftop restaurants and vibrant markets (there is no aqueduct here), what has this place got that is worth coming here for? Nothing!
The fort was founded in 1459, in was gradually expanded by various rulers, and despite having faced many attacks and sieges was never taken - when I stood at the top of the 125m high rock but still at the bottom of the huge walls I understood why.
Jaisalmer - further into the desert, out of which a walled city rises in defiance of everything that surrounds it (which is nothing except rock and sand, but the thought was there). Started in 1156, inside is a beautifully quaint whole town where even quainter people still live with quaint cramped houses, temples so squashed (and quaint) that they literally merge into one another, quaint narrow winding alleys ... and of course, being India, fat cows, shit excreted by all manner of mammals, an abundance of rubbish and nutcases on motor cycles.
- So I escaped into the desert on a camel for 3 days (with 7 other travellers and 4 guides/cooks/camel herders). Unfortunately ... after being driven by jeep an hour into the desert, when I tried to get on my sitting down camel for the first time, I had half a leg across the 'saddle' and it decided to get up and I only narrowly avoided castration but did lose half a fingernail in the process (a fortunate trade off perhaps), then opening my daysac (to mend my finger), I found I had lost my waterbottle, and then once I did get on my beast, my stirrups (which were only pieces of string) broke. So I rode off into the desert without water, stirrups and with only 9.5 fingernails. I felt that at least one of these was probably not a good idea!
- I didn't like the camel too much after that (it was lazy and always at the back as well) so later I managed to change to the one that was always at the front and was by far the biggest, a magnificent beast and quite well behaved, although he did keep trying to attract the females by blowing up cabbage sized pink sacks from his mouth which drooped (unattactively, need I add) over his bottom lip. Camels mouths are incredible, looking into one is revolting - a kalidascope of geen, red, purple and blue slime resides there - with teeth as twisted and colourful as Bugs Bunny's 85-year-old grandma who had been a heavy smoker (of Camels?) all her life.
- One thing that no-one advises you to take into the desert is wet weather gear, so I didn't. And yes it did rain - luckily only briefly. I do now know the difference between rain and camel spit, and this was definitely rain.
- The desert is not empty - if you have ever wondered where peacocks live, they live (at least some of them do) in this, The Great Thar Desert (Todays useless fact : peacocks are India's national bird). Mainly they walk everywhere although a few did fly briefly, probably just for our entertainment, but we didn't stop to find out why - we got away quick in case they came and hassled us for 'rupees' or 'school pen' - it is like that in India.
- Back inside the walled city the 7 Jain temples with a total of only 3 entrances betweenn them(merged remember) contained a maze of stunning 3D carvings - I could try and describe them but would probably fail and anyway you probably would get bored or have work to do, or most likely, both (and no karma sutra ones this time) - suffice to say they are probably the best I have ever seen for detail and condition given the age (12th - 15th century) - yes even better than Bantrey Srei at Angkor in Cambodia.
Bikaner - Then onto the most shit filled streets I have ever walked (and there is some pretty stiff competition in India). And it rained really heavily during the night and flooded the streets. And I was wearing open toed sandels. Liquid cow shit - and I just had to walk through it - not just for fun, but there simply was no other way to get from room to breakfast.
- This was not the main attraction of going there however. Even worse was 'The Rat Temple!!'. This is a temple filled with rats. They are not just tolerted but actually fed, watered and worshipped, no-one knows how many there are but one guy who worked there (over)estimated 60,000 - they only count the white rats which are considered lucky if you see one - there are 11, I saw 3 (or the same one 3 times).
So just relax and imagine going into this temple barefoot.
Rats are running around everywhere.
And these are not nice, specially bred rats; these are the degenerates of the rat world: scrawny, scabby, brown rats varying from mouse size (presumably younger ones) to the size of, well..., a well-fed rat.
So you are standing there, and just watching hundreds of them crowding round the food only a metre away makes your blood curdle.
You stand close enough to have your photo taken with them, and even crouch down to make it look like you are really pally with them; you may be thinking 'JUST DON'T ... come any closer'.
Then they run really close to you and you may think 'I'm OK'; breathe deeply, 'I'm bigger than them, they're not going to attack me or anything'.
And then they come right up to you, the scabs on them screaming 'I'm a scabby rat' at you. Then they nibble your toes ... Urrrgg ... and you try not to scream.
Then they run over your foot ... and you try and remember how honoured you are to have this happen to you.
Then they run up your leg!
F**K OFF ME!
It was just like that - and yes I do have the pictues to prove it!
- Agra - Couldn't leave India without seeing the Taj Mahal (completed in 1653 so fairly old). Got up an hour before first light to see it wake up. It is spectacular as it changes its hue in the early light, a wonderful testament to a man's love for a women and what happens when the King has too much money to waste. The best views are from a distance; I immersed myself in its shape, its form, its colours and its beauty - it makes an impact. But the closer I got the less interesting it was. Then I got too close and realised that apart from a few bits of intricate inlaid stones, it is just huge slabs of marble; just a building and not an overly interesting one at that.
And nearby there is a fantastic Red Fort made out of red sandstone, and adorned with white marble palaces - all built by the same people who built the Taj Mahal.
Delhi
Onto the capital, just for a couple of days. I expected this to be a modern westernised place, and some of it is. But it also boasts roads covered in muck (those cows again) and traffic jams of cycle rickshaws (a really slow but pleasant way to travel if you can stand the pollution). It also has a red fort (made of red sandstone!) which isn't a patch on the one at Agra, and India's largest mosque (completed in 1658) which can hold 25,000 people. Surrounding this mosque are streets of butchers shops, something of a surprise in India - the muslims eat stacks of meat, and judging by the displays of the shops, goat's heads are a speciality. Strangely there were no cows wandering the streets near here - wonder what happened to them?
So after 3 months I am nearly finished in India - just up to the Golden Temple at Amritsar and then over the border to Pakistan. I feel like I am heading home - well at least I am heading NW which is pretty much the right direction - may take a few months to get back but the food might be better than if I went by 'plane.
- Incidentaly I have been travelling nearly 5 months in Nepal and India, eating fantastic food and haven't been ill once. I will regret writing that sometime soon!
- I was tying to think how to sum up India in a few words or a picture. After careful(?) thought it would have to be a picture of a man pissing up against the wall of the Taj Mahal!
India is the best and the worst of everything expertly blended together.
So what is happening with you ... ?
Home soon(?)
Love
Ankur/Pete
Seems ages since I was in Goa dodging the waves - since then I have spent a month at an ashram followed by a couple of weeks rushing around.
Firstly, the Osho Ashram in Pune (actually it is now called the Osho International Meditation Resort so they can charge loads of cash for meditating there [ashrams are normally funded by donation only]). I was only intending to go for a few days but ... ended up staying a month - you know what it's like when you find somewhere that it so not like real life (or real travelling), it is not only easy to stay, it is frightening just thinking about having to face the outside world again, let alone actually doing it. Some people I met there are still too scared to come out, and a months stay may seem like a long time, but it hardly made me a long term inmate by Osho standards.
If you think meditation is about sitting silently in a room with loads of other people also sitting silently in a room then think again. OK, so some of it did involve sitting silently in a room with loads of other people also sitting silently in a room (the quality of this silence was something else, if you made a sound or coughed you were swiftly thrown out (quietly of course) by the neo nazi guards), but most of the meditations were dynamic, meaning you have to move and make sounds and stuff like that. In the 6am Dynamic Meditation we were encouraged to make as much noise as possible for 10 mins; and immediately after was 10 mins of jumping up and down continuously - call it circuit training if you like!
What kept me there really were the courses - I did two 3-days and one 5-day course - mainly looking at how my childhood conditioning affects me now (yes it is all to do with the people called parents) and how I can change back into who I was supposed to be and not the stranger I had become. The 5-day one was a bit tough as we (30 of us) were in total silence outside the group room for thefirst 4.5 days. I had to get up at 5.30am, and didnt get back to my room until 11.30pm - and then had to do homework! So there wasn't much time for sleep ...
Sharing all those emotionally intimate experiences in an underground padded room with 30 people I didn't know, and wasn't allowed to speak to, was kind of weird but very powerful; then after 5 days when we talked I realised I had 30 intimate friends who I didn't know a thing about - and none of us could think where to start. But when we did get it together it was like having a whole new family of friends, wonderful!
So after a month of what approximates to an exorcism of my past, I turned out to be a completely new person (perhaps a slight exaggeration), although whether I changed back the moment I stepped back into the street I'm not yet sure. Anyway to celebrate being this new person (however briefly) I had my head shaved (OK so that was years ago) and have a new name, Ankur (I'm sure I have been called something similar to that before anyway). Whether this is a final step or just a first step I'm not really sure, but it is a step...
So having gritted my teeth and with one eye on my visas' expiry dates, I left for more orthodox 'adventures' - up north to Rajasthan and into the desert:
Jodhpur (which really did give its name to a pair of trousers) - A huge fort, perched on an enormous slab of rock dominates this town, nearly all of which is painted blue (they reckon it helps keep the mossies away, but what mossies would be doing in the desert I have no idea). And apart from (What have the Romans ever done for us?)the very inpressive fort, the lovely (and cheap) food, superb lassis (note for Scottish people - these are yogurt drinks, not girls), the clock tower, full on sun, views across the town from rooftop restaurants and vibrant markets (there is no aqueduct here), what has this place got that is worth coming here for? Nothing!
The fort was founded in 1459, in was gradually expanded by various rulers, and despite having faced many attacks and sieges was never taken - when I stood at the top of the 125m high rock but still at the bottom of the huge walls I understood why.
Jaisalmer - further into the desert, out of which a walled city rises in defiance of everything that surrounds it (which is nothing except rock and sand, but the thought was there). Started in 1156, inside is a beautifully quaint whole town where even quainter people still live with quaint cramped houses, temples so squashed (and quaint) that they literally merge into one another, quaint narrow winding alleys ... and of course, being India, fat cows, shit excreted by all manner of mammals, an abundance of rubbish and nutcases on motor cycles.
- So I escaped into the desert on a camel for 3 days (with 7 other travellers and 4 guides/cooks/camel herders). Unfortunately ... after being driven by jeep an hour into the desert, when I tried to get on my sitting down camel for the first time, I had half a leg across the 'saddle' and it decided to get up and I only narrowly avoided castration but did lose half a fingernail in the process (a fortunate trade off perhaps), then opening my daysac (to mend my finger), I found I had lost my waterbottle, and then once I did get on my beast, my stirrups (which were only pieces of string) broke. So I rode off into the desert without water, stirrups and with only 9.5 fingernails. I felt that at least one of these was probably not a good idea!
- I didn't like the camel too much after that (it was lazy and always at the back as well) so later I managed to change to the one that was always at the front and was by far the biggest, a magnificent beast and quite well behaved, although he did keep trying to attract the females by blowing up cabbage sized pink sacks from his mouth which drooped (unattactively, need I add) over his bottom lip. Camels mouths are incredible, looking into one is revolting - a kalidascope of geen, red, purple and blue slime resides there - with teeth as twisted and colourful as Bugs Bunny's 85-year-old grandma who had been a heavy smoker (of Camels?) all her life.
- One thing that no-one advises you to take into the desert is wet weather gear, so I didn't. And yes it did rain - luckily only briefly. I do now know the difference between rain and camel spit, and this was definitely rain.
- The desert is not empty - if you have ever wondered where peacocks live, they live (at least some of them do) in this, The Great Thar Desert (Todays useless fact : peacocks are India's national bird). Mainly they walk everywhere although a few did fly briefly, probably just for our entertainment, but we didn't stop to find out why - we got away quick in case they came and hassled us for 'rupees' or 'school pen' - it is like that in India.
- Back inside the walled city the 7 Jain temples with a total of only 3 entrances betweenn them(merged remember) contained a maze of stunning 3D carvings - I could try and describe them but would probably fail and anyway you probably would get bored or have work to do, or most likely, both (and no karma sutra ones this time) - suffice to say they are probably the best I have ever seen for detail and condition given the age (12th - 15th century) - yes even better than Bantrey Srei at Angkor in Cambodia.
Bikaner - Then onto the most shit filled streets I have ever walked (and there is some pretty stiff competition in India). And it rained really heavily during the night and flooded the streets. And I was wearing open toed sandels. Liquid cow shit - and I just had to walk through it - not just for fun, but there simply was no other way to get from room to breakfast.
- This was not the main attraction of going there however. Even worse was 'The Rat Temple!!'. This is a temple filled with rats. They are not just tolerted but actually fed, watered and worshipped, no-one knows how many there are but one guy who worked there (over)estimated 60,000 - they only count the white rats which are considered lucky if you see one - there are 11, I saw 3 (or the same one 3 times).
So just relax and imagine going into this temple barefoot.
Rats are running around everywhere.
And these are not nice, specially bred rats; these are the degenerates of the rat world: scrawny, scabby, brown rats varying from mouse size (presumably younger ones) to the size of, well..., a well-fed rat.
So you are standing there, and just watching hundreds of them crowding round the food only a metre away makes your blood curdle.
You stand close enough to have your photo taken with them, and even crouch down to make it look like you are really pally with them; you may be thinking 'JUST DON'T ... come any closer'.
Then they run really close to you and you may think 'I'm OK'; breathe deeply, 'I'm bigger than them, they're not going to attack me or anything'.
And then they come right up to you, the scabs on them screaming 'I'm a scabby rat' at you. Then they nibble your toes ... Urrrgg ... and you try not to scream.
Then they run over your foot ... and you try and remember how honoured you are to have this happen to you.
Then they run up your leg!
F**K OFF ME!
It was just like that - and yes I do have the pictues to prove it!
- Agra - Couldn't leave India without seeing the Taj Mahal (completed in 1653 so fairly old). Got up an hour before first light to see it wake up. It is spectacular as it changes its hue in the early light, a wonderful testament to a man's love for a women and what happens when the King has too much money to waste. The best views are from a distance; I immersed myself in its shape, its form, its colours and its beauty - it makes an impact. But the closer I got the less interesting it was. Then I got too close and realised that apart from a few bits of intricate inlaid stones, it is just huge slabs of marble; just a building and not an overly interesting one at that.
And nearby there is a fantastic Red Fort made out of red sandstone, and adorned with white marble palaces - all built by the same people who built the Taj Mahal.
Delhi
Onto the capital, just for a couple of days. I expected this to be a modern westernised place, and some of it is. But it also boasts roads covered in muck (those cows again) and traffic jams of cycle rickshaws (a really slow but pleasant way to travel if you can stand the pollution). It also has a red fort (made of red sandstone!) which isn't a patch on the one at Agra, and India's largest mosque (completed in 1658) which can hold 25,000 people. Surrounding this mosque are streets of butchers shops, something of a surprise in India - the muslims eat stacks of meat, and judging by the displays of the shops, goat's heads are a speciality. Strangely there were no cows wandering the streets near here - wonder what happened to them?
So after 3 months I am nearly finished in India - just up to the Golden Temple at Amritsar and then over the border to Pakistan. I feel like I am heading home - well at least I am heading NW which is pretty much the right direction - may take a few months to get back but the food might be better than if I went by 'plane.
- Incidentaly I have been travelling nearly 5 months in Nepal and India, eating fantastic food and haven't been ill once. I will regret writing that sometime soon!
- I was tying to think how to sum up India in a few words or a picture. After careful(?) thought it would have to be a picture of a man pissing up against the wall of the Taj Mahal!
India is the best and the worst of everything expertly blended together.
So what is happening with you ... ?
Home soon(?)
Love
Ankur/Pete
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